Roxy

Who knows?

2010-10-07T04:05:00.001+08:00

06Oct2010

My hubby and I were planning to go somewhere next weekend. Little did he know that while telling him my ideas of the places I wanna go, it makes me so nervous because maybe next weekend who knows we would get the worst news…?

I haven’t received anything regarding my application… Who know maybe next week, we wont be able to enjoy our trip because I have to go away?

Im so scared. Until now we don’t have anything. No progress, no acceptance of application… and it has been 6 days since they received it.

I don’t know what my future brings. Am i not gonna be able to spend thanks giving and christmas with my hubby? or maybe I have to leave the country nd not see him for a long time?

I am so freaking out right now.

Justin Bieber 51 y/o Pedophile

2010-10-05T04:10:00.001+08:00

04Oct2010

First time I ever saw Justin Bieber was on this video. I didn’t even know he was the one who sang “U smile”.

The aggravating thing about this video is I actually believed this crap. I just realized it wasn’t true when I searched for real news networks.

It’s meant as a joke obviously.

BUT SERIOUSLY, THIS ISN’T FUNNY!

Winter Breeze

2010-10-04T00:02:00.001+08:00

03Oct2010

Ber is here. Actually like a month ago… but it just dawned on me that the ber months are finally here just because of the weather.

As I feel the cool breeze… I get so excited by getting to experience my first thanks giving holiday with my hubby and his family. The first Black friday… at the same time I get so down for thinking that I might not be able to spend christmas with them.

If I do spend christmas in Hong Kong, it would be a sad, lonely christmas… Another christmas without my hubby. Another cold christmas in the cold city.

Sleepless Nights

2010-10-02T20:33:00.001+08:00

02Oct2010

I know for a fact that everything happens for a reason. Everything needs to be justified. For me at least… Even the slightest problem in the world I always want find a way to justify or convince myself for believing the reasons that “I THINK” is right. Maybe its a way to make me feel better.

I’ve been having sleepless nights – as I speak. It is 5.30 in the morning, I was up since 4… or maybe earlier than that. It’s like I was asleep but I wake up every 5 minutes… or so I think.

I think I know the reasons why I’ve been having sleepless nights/days – to “justify” and to make myself feel better, I am making a list.

I start with the possible reasons… Maybe I am wrong, maybe I am right. I don’t really know.

I’m a living pillow, My hubby likes sleeping so close to me.. more like squishing me. No complains though I like cuddling – Not when I try to sleep or get comfortable though… it’s hard to move when you’re locked in someone’s arms.
Our bed is too small for the 2 of us, we need a king size bed. I don’t have space to move and get comfortable.
My hips gets sore when I sleep on one side more than 10 minutes. So I roll like a washing Machine. I think it’s because I am gaining weight, I am getting heavy and when I’m asleep the pressure is on my side hips. O.o
My Right shoulder hurts. It hurts when I lift my arms up. It hurts when I sleep on my right side.
I sleep more than 8 hours.
I’m stressing about my green card application. It is still processing and I need to wait 4 more months.
We are broke. we spent most of our money on my green card application :( Why is it so expensive to be with your husband in the US? I think I know why a lot of illegal immigrants are “illegal” because not everyone could afford to get legalized. It costs a fortune to pay for the application and you’re not even sure if you will get approved or you will just have to go back to your country and forced to be parted from your husband/Family.
I need to work but I can’t till I get my application approved. I’m stressing about our bills.
I’m thinking about my Family I left back home… OR maybe they are thinking about me?
I’m worrying about the responsibilities I left back at home.
I’m gaining weight.
I don’t exercise.
I have High cholesterol.
I’m bored.
PMS???

My paranoia is kicking in. I could not think of any possibilities why I’m having troubles in sleeping.

someone Died?
I’m going to die?
Something bad happened to my Sister and my nephew?
I’ll get rejected on my green card application?
Someone is thinking about me?
I’m getting cheated on?
Something bad will happen to me?
I’ll get rejected on my green card application? Oh.. Did I type that already?
I’ll get rejected on my green card application?
I’ll get rejected on my green card application?

Okay okay. So most of my worries are about my application.

Please DO NOT judge me. A lot out there probably think that I married my hubby just for the green card. In a way, you’re right… but for the wrong reasons. I need a green card because I want to be able to work and help my hubby pay bills. I want to help, I want to be useful. I HATE BEING A BUM LIKE OTHER PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO MOOCHES OFF MONEY FROM FAMILY and FRIENDS. Most importantly, I would like to be able to live here and be with him, so we could start a new life, a family and get settled.

We tried to live in Hong Kong, I sponsored for his resident card but he is not comfortable living halfway across the world knowing that his mom has heart problems. Of course he would want to be near mom if anything bad happens.

I left a good paying job and a pretty decent life in Hong Kong just to be with him and I don’t have any regrets on that. I am happy being with him and I don’t want to be away from him anymore. We both waited one year just to be together. We both don’t want to be away from each other anymore, we waited long enough. We deserve to be together and live a normal life. If it weren’t for this immigration formalities, our life would be so so so much better and we could be more focused in saving money and starting a family.

But then, I know in the long run these hardships would make us closer and stronger.

I am so stressed right now. I think Im having a nervous breakdown. Someone please help me?

Ms. Piggylin

2010-10-02T09:59:00.001+08:00

01Oct2010

yep, that’s what my sister and My uncle John used to call me before. It’s cute, in a way… but sometimes it gets really annoying when you are in a serious situation. But anyway, that was before… when I used to be so chubby. Not that I’m not chubby now it’s just that I lost a lot of weight the past couple of years.

I never really believed people saying once you get married and have kids you’ll get back all those weight you once lost. I think I am starting to believe it… and I’m actually gaining a lot of weight ever since I moved to Florida with my husband. Okay given that I am jobless and all I do all day is eat, sleep, go online, and then the next day it’s the same routine. I did sign up for a gym membership, I never went though, I have my reasons:

1st – I don’t drive
2nd – I can’t drive no license
3rd – I don’t have a car
4th – I don’t want to ask favors from anyone to take me there because everyone in the household is working but me.
5th – I don’t want to walk in the sunny highway of Florida – I don’t want to get a dark skin its about 3 miles from the house…
6th – I might get robbed if I walk… Just being cautious.
7th – My Itunes is messed up I can’t update my ipod, I can’t exercise without the music I like.
8th – For some reason, I feel like everyone is looking at me at the gym and I get kinda conscious about it.
9th – I don’t have a buddy I could go with and enjoy it with
10th – I get bored exercising I leave the gym after an hour

and so on.. and so forth.

Okay so maybe these reasons are nonsense… I just use it to not go to the gym. I know for sure that I should go to the gym and start losing some weight. Better yet, watch my diet and quit eating junk food and crap. I have no idea why I can’t control myself anymore. I used to be so… erms. Health conscious.

One day I was just doing a little bit of reminiscing… Before I met my hubby, I was motivated to lose weight because I wanted to look good , I wanted to impress him and I wanted him to be proud of me when we walk on the streets or at the mall or when he introduces me to his friends or coworkers… Before My hubby even stepped in the scene. I was starting a diet and was losing a lot of weight every week. I was single then, of course. I was single and looking. ;)

I had a very different lifestyle… I could say I was more likely to be what you call a single, independent, career driven type of woman. I used to love what I do, I loved my Job, I loved being independent. I came to a point where I don’t go home and just practically live at work and the gym. I just go home and sleep and do the same routine every single day… very different from now… VERY.

My Daily routine would be, I wake up in the morning at 8am eat my highfiber cereal with nonfat milk. (Sometimes soy milk), I go to work at 10am I work, I used to be home ware coordinator and assistant to the creative director on a interior designer retail warehouse… On lunch time I would go to a restaurant or foodcourt with my coworkers… I normally eat just Vegetables and meat. For desert I have mixed fruit which is papaya, watermelon and pineapple. for snack I sometimes eat my left over from my desert. Then I get off from work at 7pm. I go straight to the gym and work my ass off. Then to top it all off I spend almost 30mins in the sauna/steam room and relax. I go home feeling relaxed… I DONT EAT DINNER! instead I make myself a cup of tea and some fiber cookies. Then off to bed. Next day, it will be the same routine over and over for the whole year.

If I wake up earlier I would go to the gym in the morning and go straight to work. Then I would spend my night watching TV or surfing online. On Sundays which is my only day off would be going to the gym and having brunch with my relatives and spend time with them chatting and munching on nuts and drinking tea all day. It was fun in a way… but I got tired of it… I lost a lot of weight though which was a really good thing. I did go out clubbing and eat at restaurants forr dinner with friends but thats just like once in a bluemoon… and if I do eat something really heavy, I will feel guilty and wont eat all day but almonds then bust my ass in the gym.

So that was my life before I met my future husband. Im not saying I hate my life right now… I am more hating myself for losing control over food intake. Once I tested myself if I could resist the spaghetti meat balls my mother in law made the other week… I didnt eat dinner with them but all that is on my mind was the huge meat balls and rich tomato sauce on pasta, sprinkled with parmesan cheese. OH MY GAAAAH! I went so crazy I was eating in the middle of the night like a hungry cat. I just couldnt get my mind off it!

I wouldn’t trade my life right now with what I was doing before because I am way happy to be a spoiled wife. I just want to control myself from gaining too much weight because I don’t wanna be called ms. piggylin again! ;(

What should I do?

PS: I posted something about losing weight sometime in 2008… helped me a lot really. I can share it with housewives out there… ;)

http://foxyroxyloxy.blogspot.com/2008/07/focus-on-other-things.html

Papers

2010-09-30T03:55:00.000+08:00

29Sept2010

I have been stressing a lot just about everything ever since… I don’t know when. For me stress is like a daily basis stress and worry about one thing to another. It’s weird but sometimes it makes me better (?)

About a week ago I sent my green card application to the US immigration services. I spent the whole week worried if they actually got it or started processing it? I did not hear anything from the USCIS until yesterday…

Apparently, the forms were not properly signed so the immigration had to send the entire package back to our house again. After all of my hard work putting every document required together… I was back to square 1. I knew something was wrong because if all was well we will hear from the immigration 2 or 3 days after receiving the application. It was a dreadful moment when I saw the rejection notices.

Anyway, I re-did the entire application and sent it off today. I checked everything over 5 times but still I’m not sure if I did it right. I know this is a normal reaction after sending the package and I also know that I am over-stressing about it. Buy hey! it doesn’t hurt to worry about things! It starts with being denied, being deported then I have to leave the country and my husband and then we would not see each other for so long then we will fall out of love then we will have a divorce then I will be miserable all my life then I will hate America then I will be lonely again.

I KNOW! that’s how far my mind goes. It’s just absolutely dreadful. I just hope everything goes well and that Me and My husband doesn’t need to be parted again. Also, it would be really nice to settle here and start our lives in a clean slate.

These are just one of the worries I actually wrote but there are million things that is on my mind right now that I am forgetting to worry about. Yes I do forget worrying about things, then if I do remember, I will worry until I forget again. I am a freak of worrying!

I know I am not making any sense right now. Don’t mind me though. This is normal, and you will see a lot of this posts in the future. I admit I am so nega about things but for me, its always better to think about the worst case scenario, that way I am prepared… But then you can never be prepared because you can’t tell what will happen in the future. OMG i have to stop.

My Husband bought me a bookmark saying “Keep calm and Carry on” as he always says… Everything will be all right and that I have to quit stressing and worrying about things. If it happens, it happens. I am thankful for having someone put up with my negativeness(?) does that word even exists in the dctionary?!. lol. Damn.

~Spero Melior ~

~ I hope for better things ~

Marriage

2010-09-27T23:40:00.002+08:00

27Sept2010

All these years all I know is that marriage is the worse thing that could happen in your life – So I’ve been told, not only that, it is also based on my Mom’s, My Dad’s, My Sister’s and other people’s marriage failures.

My sister told me once that getting married is not the solution for everything, Getting married will ruin your life. MY Ex-boss told me once that IF you get married and you realize he’s not the “one” you will regret it and it’s worse because once you get a divorce – it will still be in the records, it will never erase everything.

My Sister was married twice. My ex-boss has never been married. My dad is a playboy. So either way, everywhere I go, every person I ask for advice, is basically saying that once you get married no matter what the circumstances are, You’re fucked.

Still it didn’t stop me. I got married in February. I realized that what these people that are saying that Marriage is not a good thing has a different meaning. What they meant was the person you are marrying is not worth it. He’s not rich, He’s an asshole and you deserve someone more than that, You can do better.

This is one of the reason why I left home. Nobody would talk to me because everyone thinks I made the wrong choice.

For now, the decision of leaving kept me from my family that are causing hatred, depression, anxiety. I may seem to be really bad for choosing to be with my Husband and his family. I had to put it this way… They left me first. They weren’t there when I needed them. All they did was treat me like shit. All they did was ignore me and my Husband. We were invisible, I was as if never existed in the family. One of my Aunt’s deleted me from facebook saying that I am so desperate and pathetic (For lying about my Marriage) I did lie about it. Only because everyone was against it. But I don’t need people telling me what to do. I am 23, I am an adult and I can do whatever I want with my life.

I was also brought up with a huge family, and knowing that I got their back no matter what happens… BUT I guess I’m wrong.

On the bright side, I gained a family that loves me and cares for me. My husband, my inlaws, and his brothers. So I am still grateful.

This is my Hubby and Me. Taken when we visited the Philippines a few days after we got married. My family made us sleep in a separate room not knowing we were already married. It’s only the beginning of our endless battle with my family.

Yes we have our problems. Yes we have different cultures. Yes we have a 7 year age difference. Yes we are so opposite. Yes we always fight sometimes that we don’t even know what were fighting about. Yes I’m childish. Yes He’s an asshole. WE ARE HELPING EACH OTHER BY WORKING THINGS OUT. We love each other and that’s all that matters.

I love my husband, he is the greatest thing that ever happened to me. SO GET OVER IT. :)

Happy Hearts Day :)

2009-02-14T15:50:00.001+08:00

Something startled me when I came in the office. HAHA. Ok so yeah someone gave this Play Boy Underwear to me as a valentine gift, left it on my desk and showed the whole world. LOL I still have no idea who gave this to me, and whoever it is, THANK YOU! I’m definitely gonna wear this tonight… *GRIN* LOL ok just teasing.

Well today is a bit calm.. I’m going to work my ass off and finish off some things this is my only opportunity since my bosses are not around to harass me.

I know! I know its valentines day. Valentines day is special when you have someone special. I don’t have anyone special so there is no point for me to treat this day special. :)

I don't even have any plans tonight and mind you, I don’t feel sorry for myself! :) I’m just going straight home continue hauling my stuff here and there and move my furniture, do laundry. Oh yes. I am feeling a bit domesticated. I guess its normal to feel this way now that I’m living alone.

Despite me needing to cut back on my spending because I have to pay bills by myself now, I actually enjoy living alone. for the first time in my life I am actually independent. ~~I can run around naked in the house..~~ hehe :D well since it’s valentines I can be a naughty girl.

I’m obviously running out of things to write so this will be quick. Happy Valentines everyone!

I love you all. <3

Then they went Blah.

2009-02-13T18:02:00.001+08:00

And I'm writing.. yet again, another everyday-nonsense-ramblings.

~~Some guys are born to be good in fooling around with women~~. :) Hi guys love you all. :D

I always wonder how to know when a guy really means the things he says. I’m not afraid to admit I have never had a serious relationship in my 22 years of existence and with that I never knew how to trust a guy nor to love one... I trusted a guy once and see what happened.I’m not closing my doors but one thing I learned from the whole process of love-hurt internet relationship is you could never trust guys with pure intentions. Whatever they say or do, It has always something to do with SEX.

~~Dogs. Assholes. Pigs.~~ *Wide Grin* Anyway, it’s TRUE. Even guys themselves admits they are perverts, horny and can never last a day without thinking about sex. So why worry? *Grin*

I just wanted to vent. I'm really sick of the guys who I talk to online and just plainly talks shit. Make you believe you both have this “special connection” or lure you to things he says like “Oh I will never leave you like the way he did” “I will be your friend no matter what” and soon after that sentence “but could you go topless on cam for me?” Oh yeah boy, how bout a round of applause, standing ovation..lalalala.

And then when you turn them down, that's where they start to ignore you, go invisible, turn cold you know shit like that. It’s funny how guys can get. Funny they would say or do just to get what they want.

I just wanted to meet friends not have some kind of a cyber-sex-relationship! This is absolutely outrageous!

I always liked meeting different kinds of people from all over the world. With internet, blogs, and social networking sites makes it possible for me. But now I’m thinking I’ve become dependent on it that I totally forgot we still have a so called “real world” out there, where you could touch, feel, and see how people are.

… or am I just taking this too serious?

But if its hurting me and making me feel disrespected should I not let go of it?

I thought maybe there is someone out there who’s different. But I guess I’m wrong.. They’re all the SAME.

…I don’t want to be a man-hater.. But at this point I think I am. So much for internet love eh?

He’s Back!

2009-02-12T18:57:00.001+08:00

And I’m back to writing again. :)

This is my first take on writing a serious post after a few months… wow! I really missed writing! (Plastic –,-) LOL. Ok I was lazy! It’s either I was busy with my social life or busy with other personal things. I'm busy with both and I’m happy my life is getting pretty much exciting in some way. Let’s just say I am being optimistic and appreciative this year. Life is beautiful… and so am I. :)

I don’t really know where to start so I will write whatever comes in mind. This might be a long post so bare with me, after all, this is my blog so I can write whatever I want. :)

As many of people know, I started blogging about a year ago because of some fucked up guy (and I mean he’s literally fucked up with all his trial and stuff) I met online who literally broke my heart. The whole fucking year it was all about him, to think I haven’t met him in person and yes he was just an average western guy who battles here and there for the custody of his kids. Thinking I could be his savior from this crap going on with him. Yep I’m crazy, I’m aware of that. Anyway, as I was browsing through my past posts I couldn’t stop laughing at myself! I don’t know how many times I said “what the fuck” and “OMG, I said that!?” while reading. I just realized how crazy I was! Funny how love works eh? O.o

So 1 night I came home and of course do usual things --turn on pc, check emails etc etc… Finally after 8 long months, after ignoring me for how many months, after writing a lot of crazy things about him on my blog, after completely ignoring the cards I've sent and messages to his messenger, after flushing him out of my system, after getting OVER HIM, I received an email from him saying sorry and all that shitty “I would love to be able to talk to you again”. Please. O.o and yeah being a soft heart as I am, ~~I told him to piss off and fuck his own cock~~. LOL, Of course I’m kidding. and said.. I quote “At this stage, I'd say it would be better to just let go of things, forget about the past and move on. Its all good now. ;)”

I thought I would never get over him… But yeah, I naturally did. I guess I just got tired of waiting. I am communicating with him now not because I want him back… To set the record straight, I am not and will never fall in love with him again. This I am sure of because I know myself. Once is enough. At this stage, I will be a friend because that is what he is to me. He did apologize and that’s what matters most. There is no point of being bitter and ignore him for the rest of my life because that is just NOT ME.

What happened between us had changed my life in so many ways… Or because I was a late bloomer and it was just a coincidence that things didn’t come out the way it’s suppose to be. He had issues, I had issues but despite of it all I never stopped believing things happens for a reason. I’m confident to say my way of thinking had stepped to the next level maturity wise. The thing between us wasn’t really that big deal when you come to think of it but for me it was. I get far too close to him. I was hurt. I was rejected. And I don’t want that to happen again. So this time, I am cautious and I always make sure I don't get too attached to a person easily, because I know, I would end up hurting myself again.

At the moment, I am enjoying life. Im going out a lot and exploring things as much as I can. I don’t have anyone special but I met a lot of people online and through common friends these past few months. I’m happy and I hope I’d be able to keep this way. So.. Stalkers! You are very welcome! LOL

Till my next.

Rehab

2009-01-11T05:49:00.001+08:00

Baby baby
When we first met I never felt something so strong
You were like my lover and my best friend
All wrapped in one with a ribbon on it
And all of a sudden you went and left
I didn't know how to follow
It's like a shock that spun me around
And now my heart's dead
I feel so empty and hollow

And I'll never give myself to another the way I gave it to you
You don't even recognize the ways you hurt me, do you?
It's gonna take a miracle to bring me back
And you're the one to blame
And now I feel like....oh!

You're the reason why I'm thinking
I don't wanna smoke on these cigarettes no more
I guess that's what I get for wishful thinking
Should've never let you enter my door

Next time you wanna go on and leave
I should just let you go on and do it
'Cause now I'm using like I bleed

It's like I checked into rehab
And baby, you're my disease
It's like I checked into rehab
And baby, you're my disease
I gotta check into rehab
'Cause baby you're my disease
I gotta check into rehab
'Cause baby you're my disease

Damn, ain't it crazy when you're loveswept
You'd do anything for the one you love
'Cause anytime that you needed me I'd be there
It's like you were my favorite drug
The only problem is that you was using me
In a different way than I was using you
But now that I know it's not meant to be
I gotta go, I gotta win myself off of you

And I'll never give myself to another the way I gave it to you
You don't even recognize the ways you hurt me, do you?
It's gonna take a miracle to bring me back
And you're the one to blame
'Cause now I feel like....oh!

You're the reason why I'm thinking I don't wanna smoke on these cigarettes no more
I guess that's what I get for wishful thinking
Should've never let you enter my door

Next time you wanna go on and leave
I should just let you go on and do it
'Cause now I'm using like I bleed

Oh! You're the reason why I'm thinking
I don't wanna smoke on these cigarettes no more
I guess that's what I get for wishful thinking
Should've never let you enter my door

Next time you wanna go on and leave
I should just let you go on and do it
'Cause now I'm using like I bleed

Rehab.wma - Rihanna

Merry Christmas

2008-12-25T12:17:00.002+08:00

Spending good time with family...

Giving away presents.. Making people happy..

Catching up with old friends...

...Im happy. :)

.... I just want to say Merry Christmas and a pleasant new year to all!!!!!!

Twilight Showing in HONG KONG December 19th, 2008

2008-12-20T00:23:00.008+08:00

At exactly 9.40 tonight the world stopped, my eyes focused on the big screen.

FINALLY. The TWILIGHT movie. Premieres TODAY 19th of Dec. believe it or not, I just got back from watching the movie not even changing to my home clothes, as soon as I get in my room, I plugged my cd player, put on the soundtrack I just bought from Hong Kong Records, turned on my laptop and started writing. I will, once again, update my blog because I would never ever let this pass. This is a must-write-share-my-happiness-to-the-world-thing. Despite my panic attack and a hundred things to get done and settled before I leave for the Philippines, I have to stop and savor this moment and write about this night. This is how I am addicted to twilight, and I'm sure I am not the only one, so to all of you twilight fans out there, this is, well I must say it, "OUR BRAND OF HEROINE".

So.. to start with Robert pattinson's unbelievably, unhuman, beautiful amazing character, all I could say was "oh my god oh my god oh my god" I think I said it a hundred times while at the cinema. He is just the hottest guy ever. Perfect dream boy. Music, Acting, looks, everything a guy would ever wished for, so I'm gonna be like one of those girls, Rob! BITE ME and I'll be yours forever! haha.

The movie was just as I imagined when I read the book. It is just amazing. They have done a really great job and I am hoping to see New moon soon!

Me and My friend made sure this will be a very very special night. Being a twilight addict as we are, we dressed up nicely (Just decent, not over the top) booked a table at my favorite resto Dan Ryan's, ordered food and got ourselves pleasurely stuffed then off to this Luxury cinema (Palace IFC) in IFC mall. 2 Houses in same 9.40 time slots are FULL HOUSE. I didnt expect it would be popular here in Hong Kong knowing how boring chinese people are. But it is! and I think thats great!

PS: By the way.. I mentioned earlier on this post that I will be leaving for the holidays to the Philippines, YES. I am so excited and I can't wait to see my friends and family! and hoping to see some of my blogger friends! Pilipinas, here I come once again ready to rock everyone's world out there! Cheers everyone. Happy Holidays! you could do your xmas shopping and put my name on top of your lists!

PPS: oh oh oh BY THE WAY! I am well.. Happy. No one special YET but I am just happy, I just dont want to make a same mistake and make have assumptions again I have troubles on giving my trust.. Im just being careful. I think I finally got over things and I am enjoying my life at the moment. I just can't express how I feel so I kind of stopped writing. I dont understand why I could write as many as I can when I'm depressed and abandon when Im at my happy moments. I know. UNFAIR. But what the heck. Live life to it's fullest and don't care about people who doesn't want to care about you. Fuck it, the hell with them.

Will be updating more after the holidays promise!

xx

I'm fucked up badly.

2008-11-13T13:15:00.001+08:00

Too Lost In You - Sugababes

Sitting here, mind wandering, staring blank,
I'm at awe to be completely frank.
Heart pounding, hands shaking,
this is how it is affecting,

My heart became weak, my mind is not functioning.
My mind says move on,
I tried to believe you moved on, that you are long gone,
My heart says carry on,
found myself hoping, still holding on.

It's best to think this way,
God gave me this role to play,
You are my friend, a friend I wouldn't dare leave,
Cause, I have a goal, I'd like to achieve,
to make you happy, to make you feel better,
to support you, to fight for you,
to be your umbrella, through a stormy weather.
to wait for you, even if it takes forever.

If this is a goodbye,
if it is what you're trying to imply,
it's hard to accept, not to worry, promise, I won't cry.
Bothered, I'd like to ask, "why?"
A friendship you want to end, just left me to sigh,
Though I will still be here, waiting for that Hi,
even Days, Months, or Years will pass by.
Yes, I'm crazy, Sadly, this is reality. This is me.

This is what's keepin me fucked up lately. This is why I have been quiet. I'll be back soon.

Mozart Stub'n

2008-11-06T17:47:00.003+08:00

Would you say no to food? I’d kill for food so obviously, I wouldn’t say no to food, unless it is seafood. Yeah I suck, I hate seafood. I don’t really hate it that much, but I would probably force myself to eat it when I have no choice. J

A friend of mine, who I met in Plurk invited me to join her for a food review in this fancy Austrian Restaurant somewhere in Central, Hong Kong. It is my first time so I was pretty exited and even dressed up as a food critic even if I have no idea how a food critic dress like, (normal I’d say). The rule was to do it incognito and never to mention a thing about the review during the dinner then after, my friend will show the coupon and introduce her self.

Me being me, with a lot of enthusiasm and excitement (don’t judge me, this is my first time!) at some point my friend thought the crew already knew we were food critics and I was kind of worried that I must have slipped without me being aware so I forced myself to shut my big mouth for about an hour and a half and carry on enjoying the fabulous meal.

When we were finally stuffed and rubbing our stomach with great pleasure, my friend called the waiter, asked for the bill then finally revealed her true identity.

I am not really good in expressing myself and I was never really confident about my writing skills, so the first thing I asked is if my opinion was needed. Luckily, she said it is not necessary but it would be nice if I could give a few comments. Ok, so a few comments wouldn’t kill me right? So not to be useless in this food review, I would like to try and write what I think.

Pardon my photo’s the food should look nice, but I used my crappy camera phone so please do not judge by the photos. Haha :D

So here it goes:

Restaurant Name: Mozart Stub’n
Website: www.mozartstubn.com
Address: 8 Glenealy Road, Central

The place was homey and cozy, clean, small but elegant, very intimate. A perfect place to bring a date. The background song was a bit scary but it suits the fancy Austrian ambience. I felt I was in a different place, for a moment I felt I flew all the way to Austria. :)

We had 3 Appetizers:

Assorted cold cuts with paprika cheese and schnaps
Fried Camembert with Cranberry sauce
Sweetbread and sauerkraut in wine sauce (This is my favorite)

Appetizers were good especially the sweetbread, I seriously didn't know what it was but I tried it anyway and I liked it. For those like me, who unfortunately has lack of knowledge when it comes to science and meat anatomy, well, basically, (Thanks to WIKIPEDIA!) sweetbreads are the thymus glands of a cow, lamb, or pig. It is a delicacy, and typically soaked in salt water, then poached in milk after which an outer membrane is removed. Once dry and chilled, they're often breaded and fried until crispy. I know it sounds a bit unappealing. But to my exotic taste, I find it really tasty. Oh, I forgot to take a picture, I was exited to eat. I'll probably post better photos when I get them from My friend's camera.

Main course:

Wienerschnitzel
Smoked porkloin and ox tongue with bread dumpling and sauerkraut

My friend had the famous Austrian Dish (In japan they call it Tonkatsu) Basically, its breaded pork with spices. I had the Smoked porkloin and ox tongue. Both were really good, very big serving so we both had to share. The porkloin was a little bit overcooked so the texture of the meat was a bit dry. The Ox tongue was tender & juicy, perfectly cooked no after taste. It was as if I had corned beef that's probably the best way to explain it. :) The sauerkraut went very well with the meat. It wasn't too sour, seasoned very well. Two thumbs up for the Main course.

and lastly, Dessert:

Apple strudel with Vanilla cream sauce

The apples were cut perfectly in thin slices. It wasn't too sweet or sour, it was just right.

I'd say it was a little bit pricey but it's worth it. It's a fancy restaurant, what do you expect? When you want good food, You have to pay good. :)

American Boy

2008-10-27T21:04:00.007+08:00

I'm crazy about this song.

American boy - Estelle Ft.Kanye West

oh... did I mention I'm crazy about this song?

I want to go to americaaaaaaaaa. I don't care about the crisis.

I'd like to meet my American boy someday... :D

Roxy sings along: Take me to new york I want to see L.A... la la la la la

PS: I will make a decent post I promise. ...After 48 years. :D

Rants, mutterings, Blabberings

2008-10-12T18:15:00.002+08:00

But I had to post it, I had to let this all out.

Today started as if it wasn't my day off. I left home early to run some of my personal errands. It's my off anyway so anything I do today would be mostly personal. I tried applying for a Philippine passport because my Aunt offered a free ticket to the Philippines. Why say no? But then I realized I had been stateless since April 2008. I was informed that upon applying a Philippine passport I need to wait for 1 month. My supposedly flight is on the 24th of October. So I had no chance. I 'd lost hope of being happy again. Sometimes I think paying these people off would make my life easier even if it's obviously wrong. Fuck paper works, I really hate it. Who doesn't anyway?

My office mate felt my depression and offered help. So she made some phone calls and spoke with people inside the Philippine consulate. Unfortunately the whole point of waking up early, the guy that supposed to help me was on leave and will be back within a couple of days. Once again, I feel rejected, I felt that maybe, I'm not meant to go back to the Philippines yet, that maybe there is something important coming so my supposedly 3days vacation was put on hold, maybe.. I am not welcome anymore and maybe.. I don't deserve to be happy again and of course, maybe I am overreacting. These things keeps running through my mind since we left the consulate, I was looking for something/someone to blame so it would make me feel better. But I know it's wrong so I end up blaming myself and then I fell in silence, preventing myself from holding any grudges. My office mate was trying so hard to cheer me up and even said she would do everything she could do to get me a passport in 1 week. With that I feel thankful to have her not only as my office mate but also my friend... I truly appreciate the effort But I totally lost hope there is nothing to do to have it back. I lost interest already, the momentum is gone.

The whole point of saying yes to my unexpected come back was I thought somehow, I needed a break. A break from all unimportant things I have been thinking about these past couple of months. Things that didn't make any sense at all, things that made me shrink to the bottom of a shallow pond and made me feel that it is the end of the world, that there is no point of being happy again. But while time flies, I eventually managed to rise up again and accept the fact that life can be cruel sometimes.

When I finally decided to appreciate the good things in life again and thought to start off at clean slate, when I finally set my mind on important things that I should be doing, here comes another unexpected news that I don't know why it affected me in so many ways to realize, that my depression is causing not only the lost of interest of my visit but from the news my dad told me last night. I am falling back in depression to something that I'm not sure whether its worth thinking or not.

My half brother came to visit my dad, my other half brother who is currently living with my dad was also in the same room when my dad broke the news. He kept asking me not to be mad, I wasn't worried as his enthusiasm shows me its something I could be happy with, but why asking me not to be mad? So I was confused. Until he showed me some emails from a girl named Michelle Grace.

I couldn't believe what I was actually reading. Confused, not knowing anything was a good idea. But I muttered to myself, why now? why of all this time she would want to contact my dad? So I looked to both of my brothers, smiling, waiting for my reaction. I was blank, it took a few minutes for me to snap back. I felt anger rising, I was annoyed. I had so many questions but it can't seem to come out from my mouth. Then I realized my face was crumpled like a paper. And I saw my dad's smile faded that instant. He was hurt by my reaction. He was trying to explain, but I only wanted to hear what I want to hear. He asked if I was mad, and I said NO. I have no troubles on lying because my dad didn't know me that much. But inside me was like having a boiling lava just waiting to explode. I remained calm, still thinking about the girl. Still thinking why I am so mad of her coming out from no where suddenly alienating my already complicated family. I stayed for a while to have a chat with my step mother. She didn't know anything and even I felt the urge of telling her, I resisted. Still, despite of being mad, I was concerned of what the outcome would be if she knew. It would certainly hurt her feelings and she would probably want to kill herself for knowing that there is another bastard in my dad's collection of kids. *I hope she won't discover my blog*

There is no point of being mad actually, I'm aware of that. I'm 21, I have a job now, I have my own life to think about. I am mad or rather should I say envious because I know now for a fact that I am not the only girl, and that I am not special anymore like my dad used to say, knowing that she is living a normal life, that she didn't feel the miserable life I felt when I was her age, being hurt of having to see all the affairs my dad had, being a rebellious teenager having no choice but to live with her mum and her gold digger lover, being broke, having totally no allowance even for transport going to school by the lack of support from my dad.. and many many many more. My dad made sure the girl wasn't asking money from us. She just wanted to meet my dad and the rest of us bastards, and I stated harshly that I will never support or give a cent to that girl. Helping my half brothers financially and sometimes emotionally is enough to get back at my dad's upbraiding. I have no right to act or feel this way because they are the only family left and despite all these bitterness, I still love them.

This is probably a mimic of what my sister felt before. That she held all responsibilities and gave up everything for her family-- me & mum. (and mum's fucking gold digger lover) I now understand my sister's grudges to our parents. She deserves to be happy because she gave up literally everything for so long (even her happiness) to support me, to be responsible for everything, to pick up the pieces my dad broke and to put it all back again. Knowing that I wouldn't have to experience what she had, I somehow feel guilty every time I think about those hard times she's been through.

While drowning myself into nostalgia, I snapped back and realized I fell asleep on my dad's sofa. My dad asked me once again trying not to sound worried. Are you mad? and I said, no, its not like I have a choice? I said goodbye, headed to the door without turning back, then I left.

I wallowed deeply in my emotions trying so hard to detach the anger from my heart, trying not to be bitter. But it's something I cannot avoid. And then again I am finding excuses, I am finding someone to blame for all this madness, and it driven me to thinking about the filipina domestic helpers here in HK. I do not intend to offend my "kabayan" infact, I am proud to say that my mum was one of them before she met my dad. The only difference is that she was smart and at the same time stupid enough to marry my dad and accept all his infidelity for almost 12 years. I'm glad they had separated and I know it would make me a hypocrite to say that there is no one single moment in my life I wished for them to be back together, back to being one big family again. If this happened, I could die right away with a smile on my face. (I'm confident to say that because I know it's impossible to happen anyway. :D)

I am blaming them not only for my convenience and to make me feel better but I have been thinking about posting my disapproval to those filipina domestic helpers here in Hong Kong who claims that they are "lonely" because they are far away from their families and that they had no choice (well educated or not) but to accept this kind of job just to lift them from the difficult life in the Philippines. What I am trying to say here is, that filipina's (I am not speaking in general and once again I do not intend to offend anyone) here in Hong Kong are desperately in need of men. If you have a boyfriend or a husband who you want to test loyalty, then this would be the right place to go. Filipina DH (not all of them) here in HK look up to men as their GOD, as the answer to their prayers. Not thinking whether the man is married or not, committed or whatever, as long as it has a dick and fills up calendars to avoid their loneliness, no matter what a man looks like, they don't fucking care. This I am speaking out loud not only because Michelle Grace's mother was a DH (who Im sure claims to be "LONELY" that's why she had a baby with my dad 14 years ago), but because I have heard stories of them causing to different kinds of disgrace and put other innocent filipinas into shame just because they are "LONELY". How pathetic is to ask a guy to marry her because she needs a visa? How pathetic is to have an affair with a married man? How pathetic is to get pregnant with a guy and don't give him the rights to see his kid? How pathetic it is to sneak your boyfriend inside your employers room? How pathetic is to leave your dead baby on the streets of Hong Kong and leave a note saying you're a filipina and that you had to leave your baby because you might lose your job? how much could it get worse? is there an end to this? I don't think so.

Just me today, as always.

2008-10-07T22:06:00.003+08:00

There is nothing special about this movie. I just want to say a short, brief comment.

It was very intimate, had shown women at the early age repressed and looked down upon their husbands, had also shown what a pig a man could be just to get what he wants, and....

it's very........ uh, English. ~~Reminded me of someone.~~ No I wont elaborate on that.

I thought twice about this movie, but I ended up watching it anyway. I guess I was probably giving myself a test whether I could be immune to these kind of movies. I took it very well I must say, the fact that it was English (or British) it didn't bother me at all. I still am fascinated about everything (from history, culture, people, way of living etc. etc.)

I had dinner at Dan Ryan's (My all time favorite restaurant) with my book (New Moon) I stayed there and read a few chapters until the movie started.

I can say, it is more likely to be a nice day off. Just me, myself & I.

I was alone, yes. Being bored as I am at home, and since my friends (even co-workers) are busy with their family because it's actually public holiday today, I decided to watch a movie by myself. I know it's pretty lame but I don't see anything wrong about that, can't a 21 year old woman watch movies of her own? Does it seem pitiful? lol. :) I enjoyed it and I am going to do this a day off-ritual. I have been doing and arranging a lot of rituals lately so that at least I have something to look forward to every time a week starts. I started (sort of it was I assumed) arranged a Monday ritual with my supervisor and general manager to have a special lunch out once a week which means we get to eat in a real restaurant (Not just in cheap food courts) and talk about the latest gossip about what's happening at work (I kind of need to get in the loop somehow), I also have a friend who decided to do every Tuesdays our Movie/dinner night since tickets are really cheap. The rest of the week will be normal and maybe get myself to work my ass off the gym again. Life could be boring but it helps if you sometimes stop wallowing with your emotional feelings and appreciate the good things in life for once in a while. Life is beautiful, and so am I. :D

Off Topic/

I have been monitoring my feedjit (I know Im quite desperate to know who comes and go on my blog) and I have noticed that someone has been visiting my blog everyday and every night. I hope this doesn't scare him/her away as It would be really good to know who he/she is.

It would really make me happy.. I guess :D

To my avid reader from Frisco, Texas if you have balls, (he or she) whatever you are, chime in or at least drop a line. I know you've read almost all of my entries and you know me quite well already... I have a strong feeling that you want to say something... now is your chance. :)

Cheers everyone. Have a good week.

Twilight

2008-10-05T11:33:00.001+08:00

Don't laugh.

Yes I am one of them now.

I am obsessed with Edward Cullen.

I am dying to see the movie.

I am watching all trailers/movie clips I could get from you tube.

It is all what I am thinking for the past couple of days.

I dreamt of being part of the Cullen Family.

I wish I meet a Vampire like Edward someday.

I am obsessed with everything about Twilight.

I get the Jitters when I think of the lines Edward says to Bella.

What do you live for? when you can live forever

I am your brand of heroin

So the lion fell in love with the lamb

I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him

I am obsessed, hypnotized. :| I am liking this feeling. There is no end to this I must say.

New moon, here I come.

When we were young

2008-10-02T10:48:00.001+08:00

Here I will show you some of my pictures when I was at the age range between 3-5 years old. I know its a bit late and I should have posted this ages ago. I need to post this (its not like I have a choice) *grin* because it was a tag from my sweet bloomingdale :) (Andami kasing pauso netong babaeng to eh haha!)

I could say my childhood days were as perfect as it can be =D filled with love by my Mum & Dad, A cool-caring-loving-sister, Toys, Food, Milk, playmates, kinder, everything a child could possibly ask for. I admit I was a little (and I emphasize on the little part =D) spoiled brat. But isn't it fun being a spoiled brat, having everything you want? :D I heard once that if you were a spoiled brat when you were a kid you will grow up being the opposite, and I still hold on to that saying :D

What I'd do to bring back those days. ...The perfect days that I could now only see in the movies or read in a book. Nevertheless, I thank my Mum & Dad for bringing a cute little bubbly girl in this beautiful world. :)

CABBAGE PATCH! :)

Ugh Corny.

2008-09-25T22:04:00.001+08:00

Roxy : Hello?
Filipino Guy : Hello, magandang hapon, busy ka? (Hello, Good afternoon, are you busy?)
Roxy : Hindi naman masyado, Bakit? Sino to? (Not really, Why? Who's this?)
Filipino Guy : Ah, gusto ko lang sana makipag-kaibigan (Oh, I just wanted to make friends)
Roxy : (Rolling eyes) Saan mo nakuha ang number ko? (Where did you get my number?)
Filipino Guy : Ah, Dial dial lang, Pede makipag-kaibigan? ( Just random dialing, can we be friends?)
Roxy : Sorry ha, hindi ako nakikipag-kaibigan sa mga nagddial dial lang. (Sorry, I don't make friends with people who does random dialing.)
Filipino Guy : Ah ganun, nakuha ko number mo sa mga kaibigan ko. (I see, I got your number from my friends)
Roxy : (Still rolling her eyes) Sinong "MGA" kaibigan mo yun? (From which friend then?)
Filipino Guy : Ah, nakalimutan ko na eh... (I forgot...)
Roxy : Sorry ha, kung nakalimutan mo, sorry Busy ako, nasa work kasi ako eh, Sorry. (Oh, Sorry if you forgot, I'm sorry, I'm busy, I'm at work.)
Filipino Guy : Bakit naman? Makikipagkaibigan lang eh. (Why? I just want to be friends with you)
Roxy : (Walang tigil ang pag-ikot ng mata) Sorry ha, busy talaga ako. Walang oras makipaglokohan, Hanap ka nalang ng ibang matatawagan. (Non-stop eyes rolling) (I'm sorry, I'm really busy, no time to fool around. find someone else.)

Im not a snob or anything but this guy really annoyed me today. This ~~filp~~ filipino guy who doesn't even have the balls to introduce himself properly. I was thinking of entertaining the call at first, you know, just for fun, but I just got annoyed by the fact that he was using private number and not even telling me where the fuck did he get my number from. I mean, he's just ugh, CORNY.

Close in feeling

2008-09-22T21:15:00.001+08:00

There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your past, there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.

FINE. :)

This too, shall pass.

I'm ready.

Happy Birthday to me :) - Guest Post: Rafaelle

2008-09-08T00:00:00.000+08:00

So yeah, it's my 21st birthday and it's time for show off :) I thought since it's my birthday, I'd rest on writing/updating first. I'm very happy to introduce a guest post from my one and only super duper close friend for nearly 12 years now - Rafaelle.

So here is my first take on writing this long post for my one and only Roxy. Of course, as much as I try to be perfect on everything that I do ( Yes, I am OC like that and I could care less about what anyone thinks at this point) I make despisable errors sometimes. But enough about me, this is about Roxy. I do not want to write something that is filled with cliché’s all throughout this whole process of making Roxy happy (she asked me to write this because it will make her happy), so being the good friend that I am, I want almost everything here to be about her -- notice the "almost" meaning that I will still battle for some attention here and there. This is probably the only time that I will write something on a blog. I am never the blog writer like many of you who are reading this, so I do not really know exactly how I should start this guest post, but since Roxy said to me that I should just write whatever is in my heart at the moment, then I will write whatever it is that I have at this time.

I have not seen Roxy in over five years, but we have been friends since 5th grade, so it all started when we were 9 or 10 years old. And over the course of time things just evolved into a great friendship that has a dynamic relationship -- which is insurmountable by anything else that I personally had. We have this form of communication that I know I have never had with anyone else, even with some of my so-called "friends." This form of communication that I am referring is based on the conversations that we have every time we speak with each other on any given occasion. We talk about a lot of things that I would not like to delve into, because only her and I could understand them. Maybe if you become one of our friends then you would have a hint or some kind of idea on just how much me and Roxy have fun in our own small or big ways by just talking and keeping each other company. I have observed and now actually just comprehending the fact that Roxy and I have had friends that became parts of our lives for a few years, and mind you, they have only been around for just a matter of time. I would not name names because it would not be fair to them, and I kind of also would like to keep this post diplomatic. However, this will be a long post so we will see how far it gets me from being diplomatic to just plain old blunt. This is only a warm up, just to get you bloggers (I just realized I may have used the proper term to describe you) interested, or not, whichever I really do not have any description for it. This is for Roxy anyway, so as long as I keep this post interesting and substantial for her, I'm all set. :)

Going back to saying why I am writing this "guest post" is because Roxy, again, have sugarcoated a lot of the things she said to me just so I would write this. It worked. I am now on my third paragraph, hurray! Man, how long does this post have to be? You know, it is a lot of pressure if you think of it. So basically I am just babbling about how everything came about for me to write this post, but I assure you, the best is yet to come (or something). Roxy, you know that I only write long letters when I know or have an idea that only one person or two will be reading them, not when it is for everyone in the world to see. Just so we are all clear, when I am referring to you bloggers, I do not mean any harm. I like bloggers, I think you guys can change the course of history for the better. I raise a glass to you.

Ok, Roxy, Roxy, Roxy, what the hell am I doing here? I really do not know how I am supposed to express myself here -- how candid I should be and/or how authentic this post should be. But in all cases, here is a toast to you, for being the person that is you. For making many people that have had the chance to be in your presence learn how great of a person you are. I do not think people really know how genuine a day become when you are around. Roxy is a type of person that really care about the people that she adores and love (could be temporarily or permanent) so she always makes every minute, hour, or day somewhat interesting and something that you would think is not wasted. I remember during High School, our rebellious years where we would just cut class and spend the afternoon at my house (literally 40 steps away from our school so it is very convenient and smart) and just do things that are merely academic. Nonetheless, I would not say it was unproductive because this was the time where we were just carefree, testing the waters (muddy or clear if you know what I mean), and identifying with everything that surrounded us whether it is family, friends, and philanthropic work. Yes, I consider lending money to the ones that needed it for the consumption of goods as a noble work during that time -- and maybe this time too, who knows? So this one time that I think, if I could remember correctly, I was on the phone in our living room and Roxy was sitting on the floor (the Indian seat) and I was eating some pan cakes, with Roxy being the food lover that she is, and me being the greedy-when-it-comes-to-food-with-Roxy that I am, I would not share it with her. So here I go forking the last piece of the pancake with a few inches away from my mouth and out came what seemed like the character flash with a hand so quick grabbed the pancake in one svelte move and shoved it in her mouth. I remember biting air and how delicious it was that it almost chipped my front tooth. I am not kidding. Of course, we laughed it off and did my complaining about how I wanted that last piece of pancake so bad, but then Roxy would just look at you and smile and laugh. So that was just one moment that I am pretty sure Roxy still remembers. We even talked about in our conversations just to think about those good times. Ok, I guess I am now getting the hang of this whole guest post writing, so maybe I will share another story that every time I think about it, it never fails to put a smile on my face. This was freshmen year of High School in the Philippines, it was the afternoon classes, and this was the year when hand sanitizers were just becoming popular, the alco-gels and the like. So I remember a classmate of ours brought a small bottle of VitaSoft Hand Sanitizer w/ Fragrance. I asked for a test and put a small amount on my hand, Of course I smelled it and even the rest all over my hands. Now Roxy came over and said "Huy, ano yan!? Patingin naman"(What’s that? Can I see?) So our classmate put some on Roxy's hand. I noticed that she had a lot on her hand, then she smelled it as usual, so me being in front of Roxy, and me, being the playful person that I am, hit the back of her hand where she had the VitaSoft Alco-Gel. At this point, I did not know what happened with the alco-gel, if Roxy had accidentally snorted some of them or it had went to her mouth because Roxy kept her hand on her face, well, her nose and mouth were covered. Then she took her hand off and her was face so red, so I chuckled, and then I think I ran and Roxy chased me while blurting obscene words. Here, let me visualize it for you, I was running out of the classroom and roxy was chasing me cursing the words "Putangina mo!" (You son of a bitch!) Wow, that was so funny. I think we were 11 years old during that time right Roxy? It was during our 1st year of High School. That was a lot of fun. I remember during that time when I would not come to school in the morning and just show up in the afternoon or not even show up to school at all, I would get a phone call from this PT&T phone booth in school and I would instantly know who it is, Roxy would just tell me "Lanz! Pupunta ako jan!"(Lanz! I will go there!) and she would just come over to my house, it would be around 10AM during recess time and she would just not come back to school after that. She would then see me at my house watching TV in my parents room that became my room, and with the PC left on, and the AC turned on as well. She was in heaven because that is basically what she came over to my house for; if the AC was turned off Roxy would then say "Huy, buksan naman natin yung aircon." (Hey, let's turn on the AC) And of course, she does not wait for my approval; she would just reach for it and turn it to the coldest temperature. We would just stay in my house for the rest of the day, the normal routine would be me sleeping in the afternoon (Man, what a mess of a child I was back then) and she would be on the internet surfing or playing the Sims game on my PC, we have this cheer when we're playing the Sims or anything referring to the Sims game, we would go " one, two, three, the Sims!" Man, that was so funny, and if you are interested to know, it is not yelled normally, we enunciate these words in a way that is ours. So when evening comes that's when she would still stay at my house but leave late when the coast is clear. She would even have an accomplice to bring her book bag to my house in the afternoon when school was over. I would come up with brilliant ideas like that being the mastermind and Roxy being my partner in crime. Everything was a blast and a half whenever Roxy and me are together. She loves the song “Crave” by Marc Dorsey, so we came up, well, I came up with the subject on our emails one time with this word “Ichurlovdetaistylcreifv,”(It’s your love that I still crave) because this was part of the song that had seven words that when put together in one word, this is what it would be spelled and sound like.

What else do I remember that is worth sharing to the world? Hmm... You see, I do not know how I will be conveyed after I finish this post, but feel free to share your thoughts with Roxy. It's all good. I know she will communicate this with me. Maybe you would like to become our friend, meaning, you can fill in with those people that became our gimik buddies, but then later on would be replaced by someone else. I would say that a person is lucky if they stick around and just be our friend. Roxy and I have the same personality, I think we are the type-C personalities where we are a combination of the type-A and the type-B, it is a good balance if you think of it. People come and go into our lives, she has her friends, and I have mine but we have this friendship that an individual or a group would like to join. I do not really want to tooth my own horn here, but I have to admit, all the things that Roxy and I do are so cool that an outsider would want to join the fun with us. It just seemed that when we are together possibilities are endless, fun times are endless, a great roller coaster ride for the ages is always ready, and things are just better. It is always nice to share goals, accomplishments, dreams with someone that you know will be there to support you, and by "supporting" you, meaning telling you the truth whether it be in the category of rash decision making or a brilliant idea -- honesty was always there. And with that, this means that our personalities also clash, so it is not always just good things and having a fun time with one another. Roxy and I also fight, but now that I am just thinking of it, our fights never last very long. And usually our fights were based on petty and superficial things that if brought up today would not even be an issue anymore, just to give you an example, one fight would be if she does not do what I ask (Ok, maybe that's a pretty harsh description of it) but mainly if she doesn't believe in what I say. Wow! Ok, this post is becoming somewhat of a therapy for me now, a revelation perhaps? I am getting a sense that I am learning about myself throughout this whole process as well. Ok, so maybe I was an evil kid back in the day, I am not so much of an evil kid now. I just now realize that Roxy truly is a great person because it actually took me a minute or two to write and think of something that she had done that we had an argument about, and all I could think about is because I always want to get my way. Hmmm... That’s pretty interesting. Ok bloggers, time for an intermission, I am going to start rambling again about how this is my first post and that I am an amateur blogger. Maybe you noticed that I start writing "hmmm..." now and maybe that's a good sign that I am starting to get a little bit comfortable with this. I kind of had to push myself to do this because I promised Roxy that I would write her this for her birthday. Earlier I felt like this post was homework from school so I was slacking off for a bit. But hey, I got to this point so there's no turning back now. Ok, bloggers, so here is another round of what is going on in my mind at this point.

Here is an email from Roxy from 2002, I was already living far far from the Philippines and this is the kind of email that Roxy would send me; this should set the tone on how much we understand each other:

Monday, April 1, 2002 1:35 AM From:Roxy@Roxy.com To:Rafaelle@rafaelle.com

Subject: Tanginamo!!!

hoy,!!!!

tang ina mo!!!! at ano nanamang katangahan sa buhay ang ginagawa mo at hindi ka man lang natawag sakin!!!???? ha?! anong problema mo!!!!!???? mas nakuha mo pang tawagan si ******!!!???? BAHALA KA NGA!!!!! BAHALA KA SA BUHAY MO.........

(Translation: Motherfucker! What is this stupidity that you're doing in your life that you are not calling me???? Huh?! What is your problem!!!!??? You would much rather call *******!!!??? Do whatever you want!! Do whatever you want in your life.....<There's more but this should be enough>)

(Roxy : Oh my god! Who is that I’m getting jealous about!?)

So there you go, that should set the mood. That's just one example; of course, I would not want to post our correspondence with each other here because there are a lot of things on our emails that only her and I would understand. Because clearly, if you were an outsider, which technically you are, you would have your pre-conceived notion about how we are. Well, if you're interested, again, just talk to Roxy I guess.

Oh! I remember the time when we went to Alabang. We were sophomores in High School and 12 at the time. Now, mind you, it is a big deal just going to Sta. Rosa (a city in Laguna which is an hour away from San Pablo) but going to Alabang at our age? Man, we were trendsetters. We are pioneers at our school when it comes to going to places that not any of our schoolmates have ever been before, so when we actually see some of our schoolmates going to these places, we just stop going there and just venture out on other places because that, to us, is an indication that it has become mainstream and have lost its exclusivity (Yep, sorry mga jologs! lol). So going back to my story of our trip to Alabang, I borrowed my Dad's car and we had the driver drive us anywhere we wanted to go. I am just now recollecting some of the things we did there. We went to the Festival Mall and afterwards, at the Alabang Town Center. I am trying to remember what we did there, but all I can remember was our way back to San Pablo, we stopped by at Treats in Petron at the South Expressway (which I recently found out is no longer around, other establishments have now followed the trend) and just hung out there for a bit, we talked we laughed, we chilled, and we ate a lot. One of our buddies said a joke about the juice that he was drinking, it was Plus+ King size orange juice (Like Zesto for any of you who knows) and we just laughed. It was funny, and yes, Roxy was eating. We had such a great time, I think we got home at a decent time a little bit after 12, but hey, that was a decent time for us. Everything back in those days just leaves a mark to my core that I will always cherish. Those were the good old days, but it is not the end of the good times. If you noticed, I've only described these incidences as "good," meaning the great times are yet to come! I am so looking forward to that because I know that it is not just going to places by land anymore with us this time. We are going to places by air. This is one of those things that Roxy and I share, we love travelling and seeing the world, learning about different cultures and cavorting different values. Again, just so we're clear, we are well-mannered people when we have to be, just not with each other, and I think you can only have that characteristic with someone when they are your true friend; that is what I found in Roxy. She truly is a great friend no doubt about it.

One post is not enough to depict and celebrate Roxy on her 21st birthday. I wish that I could be there with her celebrating and toasting for a new chapter in her life, and in our lives altogether. These are the chapters in our lives where we are now becoming contributors to society. Her generosity and kindness are often mistaken as weakness, but rest assured she is the most authentic and warm-hearted person that I know. We have evolved from being the easy-go-lucky-smart-slackers in High School solely dependent on our parent’s income to the well-mannered, well-educated, easy-go-lucky-smart-professionals solely dependent on our own income. It truly is amazing how far we have become, but Roxy and I know that we are only getting started, because having goals and dreams, for us at least, knows when to act to make it the proper and right time. Roxanne, thanks for being the most genuine person that you are, you are loved by many including me, especially, because you have contributed major things in my life that helped establish where I am today. Happy Birthday.

Rafaelle

Oh yeah, its about you again, what's new?

2008-09-07T01:32:00.000+08:00

I admit I have been very neglectful on my blogging duties. Something is stopping me from updating my blog I've so much to tell but every time I attempt to make an entry, I can't help but think of him. (I know, here I go again). So I chose to stop writing for a while. Maybe this is the reason why I haven't really gotten over him. It's because every time I write, everything I do, its always about him. No matter how hard I try to get rid of these thoughts about him, nothing happens. I know I am getting very boring on this never ending subject, but I would still write about it as this is what's in my heart. This is my blog, so I don't care if people won't like what I write.

Just to make things clear, I'm not busy, I just need some time and rest on this whole blogging thing. Maybe if I stop for a while, I would be able to get over him and move on completely with my life. Besides, he's the reason why I started blogging, so I think this would be a nice Idea and thought I'd give it a try. I don't want to write and pretend I'm ok and moving on. Because I'm obviously not. I still think about him, I dream about him, I imagine things about him (not sexual silly you), I miss him, I want him, I need him, ok I seem a little bit desperate and exaggerated but yeah it's a bit true. I am still waiting for him, I still get jealous of the fact that he's still inlove with his ex, I get jealous whenever I think about the internet love affair he had with that other filipina (that was before me, I think I was the reason why he stopped talkin to her or he just got scared cause she wanted him to marry her for a visa or sumfin) She's been bitching alot about me, how I was being a slut and all that) ok that's another story, I still think I would still meet him when I go and visit his country, I still think... I still think... I still think... I still think. He is still making me crazy up to this moment. I'm crazy about him and I don't fucking know why. I am so fucking mad at him for doing this to me. I am so fucking pissed on everything that has happened between us, all the conversations we had I admit it has been really good but I so fucking hate when I remember it. And the looks he had given me, you! yeah you! don't fucking tell me that wasn't something. I know it's something when you were looking at me that way. I am so sure there was something inside those pretty green/blue (?) eyes and Im not sure whether you felt something for me or you just felt something arising from down there because I turn you on (yeah it took me so long to believe that I actually turn you on) UGH. MEN.

...I miss you, you fuckin moron.

/off-topic

I'm crazy about this new telenovela from ABS CBN "Kahit isang saglit" Starring Our very own super hot Jericho Rosales and Malaysian Actress Carmen Soo. I know this is corny, pero wala na akong magagawa bumabalik nanaman ang pagka-adik ko sa mga primetime bida! Apir tayo jan mga kapamilya! :) Kakapanood ko lang ng first episode kanina talaga namang napaka-ganda, lalo na ang mga views sa malaysia. Infairness magaling yun batang Garie ha. and OH-EM-GEE Jericho Rosales is sooo HOT and good looking rawr. They both look good! I have nothing more to say but please watch this teleserye! :) For those who has no TFC subscription, you can still watch it on some websites who has ABS-CBN live streaming.

Good night and till my next. uh, update.

Pilipinas - Revelations

2008-09-03T03:22:00.004+08:00

I have been reminiscing these past few days, I realized I was a pain in the ass back then. Very different of what I am right now. I did so many stupid things that I can't possibly imagine. I'm thinking this post may not make any sense at all, but I thought maybe it's good to sometimes let it all out in one go, maybe with revealing some things it might make me feel better.
Here it goes:

My first cut class was on my graders. =) I was in grade 3. One of my stupid classmate said "merlin" (A wizard who has the capacity to give powers) exists and that she knows someone who could give us instructions on where to find "merlin" because I am stupid enough to believe her, I recruited my friends and said if we find "merlin" we will have super powers so that we could cut classes more. It's like a power that we could be in one place at the same time. Something like that. So that day, off we go to the forest (niyugan) Guess what? We end up playing with only our half slip on in the river (ilog)! We were in the middle of nowhere, starting to get dark and I realized my left shoe was missing and little did I know it went floating along with the river. So I went home with my half slip dripping underneath my uniform and with only 1 shoe on. Out of guilt, since I was still a kid then I told my mum I had to cut class because my classmate had an epilepsy attack during our lunch break and we had to take care of her and stay at her home for the rest of the afternoon. We all agreed to tell the same story in case our teachers asked and it was a success story, they all believed us and even thanked us for taking care of our classmate! :) I don't know but my friends said I do very well in reasoning out and get away with things easily like nothing happened. Oh well, I guess I'm talented. =)

High school was the best. I was popular at school I must say, I had lotsa friends, I can get along easily with almost every group. From hot chicks to geeks to totally invisible people (you know what I mean) but I mostly hang out with guys, its more fun. I'm not a bully but my first visit in the principal's office was when I bullied a new classmate. She was acting bitchy and miss know-it-all first day of school so I had to teach her a lesson. But then she knew my friends and I are ganging up on her so she went straight to the principal's office. That bitch. haha - We became friends after a few months. :D She did learn a lesson though good for her, and that is to stick with the right people. LIKE ME. :D

I started to drink alcohol on my first year in secondary level - My friends and I had a sleep over and bought a few bottles of Tequila and crisps. I don't remember how we managed to buy it as we were still kids. I think one of my friends teenage cousin helped us out. Anyway I'm the one who had a lot to drink but I was the one who never get drunk. Its a pain in the ass to be one left that is not drunk, not only I had to take care of my friends, it's absolutely disgusting to see them vomit and act weird while the alcohol is taking over their innocent minds. My innocent eyes had to see all the wildness. But I was kind of amused, all my drunken friends were speaking English saying senseless things like, "ugh, Roxanne! the bid is a wit!" "shut up! ssshH! Mrs. Paulino is coming" "Come here grr I want to rape you" (dear god) "I hate you, you fucking bitch get out of my way!" Those are few of the lines I remember, it could be worse. haha Just imagine, 5-6 12 yr old kids all drunk. Damn. I'm ashamed of myself. But it was FUN, we all laughed at ourselves the next morning while being tortured by a massive hang over.

I came across my old diary a couple of days ago and saw an entry that made me laugh my ass off. This was during my 3rd year in secondary level.

so here it goes: (Tagalog)

August 6, 2004
This week was hecka gulo (chaos)! summon ako sa school kasi nagdrawing ako ng xxx sa magazine ni bea. eh nakita ni sir erwin eh malay ko ba naman na magbabasa ng magazine si sir erwin sa kagitnaan ng klase? And dapat tinago na ni bea yun! ayun sabi pervert daw ako. nakakahiya daw ako kababae ko pa naman daw na tao. It was just for fun! But seriously, I don't know what has gotten to me that day. But it wasnt that bad though! dumdum lang naman at boobs ang dinrawing ko exage naman yang mga yan. hmp. So tomorrow I have to do some work in our school library for my punishment. Tapos hindi lang yun, they said I needed to see our guidance counselor cause they think my disturbing acts has somehing to do with my personal issues at home. DUH! Im not a disturbed child! Shit. I hate this. Then sabi ni sir erwin ipapatawag daw ang nanay ko. pakingshet! nakakahiya. oh my god. Ano nalang ang sasabihin ko kay mommy? ano nalang ang iisipin nya na ang anak nya ay puro kabastusan ang nasa isip?!?! siyet. ayaw ko na pumasok!!!!!
It was really my fault though I admit, I shouldn't have done that, but as Ive said, it was only for fun. Everyone was laughing after I came back from my punishment. Damn I was so embarassed I didn't go to school the next day. As for my mum, she never knew. I asked my cousin to come to school and say my mum was away for a holiday.

For guys, probably one of their unforgettable experience was when they had a circumcision. I know, 70% of the guys in the world are not circumcised, but whether they've done it or not it will be an unforgettable event in a guy's life. On my part or on every girls part I could say one of my unforgettable moments when I reached my teen years was when I had my first period. haha ok too much info, but I'm just trying to lighten up the mood here --I don't know why my mum went gaga over the news, she actually went outside to one of our neighbors blurting out quote; "Ang anak ko! may regla na! jusco dalaga na si Roxanne! kailangan kong pumunta ng bayan para makabili ng pasador!!! . :D I guess all mums had the same reactions. I just can't see the logic why mothers are happy when they should be scared that their daughters could get pregnant anytime now that they have menstruation. Ok so enough said, I was just sharing. :D

I remember I was rebellious once, I smoked cigarettes, go home very late at night, sex and alcohol was involved. My friends having sex NOT ME. And I emphasize on that, geez I was just like 13 or 14 I'd be carrying a kid by now if I wasn't smart enough that time. Like any other rebellious teenager, I nearly got expelled from school, I had to do community service, blah blah I didn't really care about what people would think of me, hell I didn't care about what my family would think. I was a total pain in the ass. Black sheep is what they call me, but I didn't mind. I guess everyone goes through that stage. My mum had to buy medicine for her high blood pressure whenever she worries sick of me. I almost joined a sorority, Good thing it didn't pushed through. I literally stopped smoking. I didn't really like smoking, I just thought I'd look cool if I did.

For me, money was a big issue, being a student with just limited allowance, it sucks! So, I pawned my mobile phone just to have money for my so called "pang aliw" (For entertainment). It was crazy. My mum saw the receipt in my bag one morning, banged my door like a thunderstorm and woke me up by poking my bum with a coat hanger. 5am in the morning she was shouting, "What are you going to pawn next? your soul?!?!" then she hits me continuously with a coat hanger until she sees my hands and arms are red and little red blood spots coming out. after a long monologue and torture session with my mum, she asked once again, "why do you need money?!?!?" I said looking stiff; "wala akong pang aliw!!!!!!" (I don't have enough money for entertainment!) end of story. That is how I was before, insensitive, didn't really care about the world, all I cared about was how I'd make myself happy and I am not proud of it.

Cars + Boys = What a perfect combination. I remember my friend and her boyfriend used to pick me up and sneak out in the middle of the night to watch illegal drag racing. Not only I enjoy on betting (I actually win sometimes), I also enjoy the fact that oh-em-gee there are a lot of cute guys I could hook up with. OK I'm not a slut I just enjoy meeting new people. I also enjoy pigging out on breakfast with my friends after a long night of racing and socializing and being half asleep in the car while on the way home trying to remember the last conversations I had with guys I met, God what I'd do to go back to those days. *kilig moments*

Do you still remember your first kiss? I can still remember my first kiss very well. It was with my best friend. It wasn't just a smack, it was a tongue twisting torrid kiss. We were hanging out at a friends house and we were talking about sex and kissing and first times you know that sort of things, then my friend started this "DARE game" and dared me to kiss my best friend. So I did it and they all felt guilty when I said it was my first kiss. I must admit, I liked it and it was really good. hehehe :D

And lastly, Love life. Falling in love was the best thing that happened to me while my stay in the Philippines. But every single one of them ends up leaving me. We're cool at first and then things get serious then before I know it, they're avoiding me without knowing the real reason. I don't know if the problem is with me or I am just dumb when it comes to relationships. I never had a serious relationship ever. I was scared of commitments. The truth is, I don't really know what a serious relationship means until now.

Back to reality --
3 years ago, when I said "I will never come back here EVER." Well, I kind of just got carried away. I take it back. I had issues left behind. But I think it's about time to bury it somewhere and start anew. It's been a long time since I went back home. I miss my ~~boylets,~~ my friends, best friends, schoolmates, cousins, aunts, uncles, I basically miss everyone. I miss the places I've been to, the usual things I do with my friends and a lot more. I was really different from what I am right now and I'm kind of getting sick and tired of being a loner. But I have no choice. My friends here are either busy at work or busy with their family. So I guess I'm hopeless. Here in HK at least. People here are, oh well, like me. Live, eat, do things alone, independent, ~~lame, freak~~. This is what I become, from a fun, bubbly & always-on-the-go girl to a boring, melodramatic, workaholic, "I-hate-the-world" kind of girl. Full of hatred and fear. On the other hand - despite all these, I can say I am strong and learned to hold back my feelings. I feel I've changed, but I don't know if I changed for the better or for the worse. I can't really tell and it's starting to scare me. I am definitely 100% sure I am not saying all these because I have my heart broken. It's not always about him. This is about me --How I make simple things complicated and wind up getting myself confused and lost.

"I am happy with my job, I'm happy being alone, but its been a long time since I felt happy with my life in general" -Roxy

Nothing New

2008-08-28T23:53:00.003+08:00

I'm going to do a little update about myself and about some stuff I've been dealing for the last couple of days. For those people who sent messages, thanks very much and I'm truly sorry for not replying back. I am not only feeling down lately, but I am very busy at work. I have been working my ass off 12 - 15 hours a day; work keeps piling up on my desk, I have my boss pulling me here and there asking to do this and that, plus I’m training a new staff and soon I will be handing over my job to her. It can be a little bit overwhelming but I am enjoying the new huge responsibilities/tasks given to me. Since I haven’t been able to express my gratitude to my bosses personally I might as well take this opportunity to say THANK YOU for giving their 100% trust on me. I would also like to thank my sister as everything that’s happening to me at work wouldn’t be possible without her help and full support. I love you and I will see you soon :) I am also dealing with some issues with some of my co-workers. I had been hearing a lot of bad mouthing and bitching about me. Probably jealous because of the attention I am getting from my bosses. I don’t really care because I know I am doing my job properly and I am not stepping on anyone’s toes. Yesterday somebody just got fired because of them. I am somehow close to the guy despite him being a whinging pom but still he hasn’t done anything bad to deserve such thing. Oh well fuck them. What goes around comes around. Good luck bitches. I wish you all well.

It’s not very easy to juggle things especially when you are also dealing with searing pain and agony in the heart. I am somewhere in between deep depression and “I-feel-sorry-for-myself-because-I’m-lonely” kind of thing. I am terribly missing him. There you go, I said it. There are times especially when I’m alone all I could do is think of him. Stating the obvious isn’t such a bad thing. Sometimes I need to wallow and let the depression settle in silently and just let it flow until I feel good about myself again. Give it try. It works for me. :)

Last Song Syndrome

Officially Missing You (LIVE) - Tamia

All I hear is raindrops falling on the rooftop
Oh baby, tell me why’d you have to go
‘Cause this pain I feel it won’t go away
And today I’m officially missin’ you

I thought that from this heartache, I could escape
But I’ve fronted long enough to know
There ain’t no way
And today I’m officially missing you

Ooh...can’t nobody do it like you
Said every little thing you do, hey, baby
Said it stays on my mind
And I-I’m officially...

All I do is lay around, 2 years full of tears
From looking at your face on the wall
Just a week ago you were my baby
Now I don’t even know you at all, I don’t know you at
all
Well, I wish that you would call me right now
So that I could get through to you somehow
But I guess it’s safe to say, baby, safe to say
that I-I’m officially missin’ you

Ooh...can’t nobody do it like you
Said every little thing you do, hey, baby
Said it stays on my mind
And I-I’m officially

Well, I thought I could just get over you, baby
But I see there’s something I just can’t do
From the way you would hold me
To the sweet things you told me
I just can’t find a way to let go of you

Ooh...can’t nobody do it like you
Said every little thing you do, hey, baby
Said it stays on my mind
And I-I’m officially...
It’s official

Shi Mo Na Fu

2008-08-28T23:07:00.001+08:00

A TAG from my sweet bloomingdale :) :P

For the instructions, add your name on the list and simply spell out your name using the given Japanese letter- translations below. Tag 7 of your friends and inform them of the tag. Have fun.
TRANSLATION:

A - ka /G - ji/M - rin /S - ari/Y - fu
B - tu /H - ri /N - to /T - chi /Z - z
C - mi/I - ki / O- mo /U - do
D - te /J - zu /P - no /V - ru
E - ku/K -me/Q - ke /W -mei
F - lu /L - ta /R - shi /X - na

ROXY - Shi Mo Na Fu - Dayng, that was fun. Hey guys, check out my Japanese name! :D

I am not going to forward tags cause everyone on my list has been tagged. :D

Till my next tag :) I holllllers. :)

3 versus 1

2008-08-18T22:57:00.001+08:00

All you have to do is say yes
To not involve in a little mess
So please beware,
These bitches has nothing to bare
everything bad they will say I swear

Taking miniscule details
turning them into huge pile of crap
this is their talent
This is their reason for being
this is what they do in their everyday living

just sit back, relax and get on with the flow
as I too, have my bitchy side to show
nothing we can do with them 2 faced bitches
sick of looking at their ugly faces.

Brilliante Weblog 2008 Award

2008-08-17T23:01:00.001+08:00

Thanks for this award :)

This is given to me by Crash - Thanks so much :P

I am shocked. WOW. first award ever. Nothing to say but thanks thanks thanks. I love getting awards! Oh well, who doesn't? I am loving blogosphere more and more. :) This is cool because I get to pass on this award to other seven deserving bloggers, so here it goes:

Here are the rules for passing on the award:

Put the logo on your blog.
Add a link to the person who awarded you.
Nominate at least seven other blogs.
Add links to those blogs on your blog.
Leave a message for your nominee on their blog.

and the award goes to:

Cheers everyone!

xoxo

Mig Ayesa

2008-08-14T01:01:00.001+08:00

Visit his official website - http://www.mig-music.com/

Mig: Hi! how are you?
Roxy: I'm ok! you?
Mig: Fantastic!
Roxy: Could I have your autograph on my CD?
Mig: Sure!
Roxy: Ok, so when you're done, let's take a photo and you have to act like you're going to kiss me and then I will do this face! (Pa-cute face, looking up with a grin) hehe
Mig: Awesome!
without any hesitations He did act like he was going to kiss me! camera flashes! everyone was screaming wo0o0ho0o0 you're one lucky girl!!!! (I AM ONE LUCKY GIRL.) Haaaaaay. :)
A few seconds later..
Mig: There you go. You have to let it dry before you put it back in. (He used a gold marker) hehe
Roxy: Thanks so much OH! another photo! this time other way around! Pleaseee?
Before I know it I was kissing his ears! haha. OK exage. not kissing, it was just like, uh. my lips was so long waiting for them to take the photos and suddenly my lips was on his ears! :D hehe He smells good. I don't know, maybe it was my fruity lip balm. Everyone was screaming and when I came down the stage, the fans are all smiling at me at the same time mumbling how lucky I am. :D FROOOGS!

It was so cool! - I could say its one of the happiest moments in my life. I couldn't stop staring and smiling on his cd the whole day until now, and it's been 3 days! GOD. I've been listening to his songs non-stop I have added it in our office play list and in my Ipod. Sooner my boss will be playing it in our showroom. LOL MIG MIG MIG all day.

Lemme show you a lil sumfin :P

Click the Album cover to listen to his songs. :)

DON'T LAUGH or I'll kick your arse. :P I look stupid I know. :P

My LSS -

Baby I Love Your Way - Mig Ayesa

Elements - Mall Show - Flirting with Sound - August 10, 2008 Sunday

Kiss from a Rox - Hehe :D

Oh yeah baby, compare me to a kiss from a rose :) - I took this video myself, I didn't finish the song my hands were too tired :D aww I just can't stop watching his videos over and over again it gives me the jitters! :)

He was a bit tired as he just arrived that morning in a 16 hours flight from London tired but still he gave his best effort to perform and interact with his fans! Hands down to you MiG! He is a wonderful guy I'm telling you! It's sad I wasn't able to go to We will rock you concert but at least I get to see him and have a photo with him! that's all that matters to me now. :)

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo sending my love to MiG

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo sending my love to my fellow bloggers.

MORE PHOTOS!!!!!

If you want a copy, please send me an email - Click >here< for my contact details.

If you are a Mig fan and you haven't joined the MiG Fans Forum well you'd be in big trouble if you don't join now! SO PLEASE JOIN!

Here is the link: Mig Fans Forum - Home

Cheers everyone!

www.roxy08.com - This is now my official site.

2008-08-13T15:06:00.000+08:00

Thought I'd make a quick post about my new domain name. Please update my link on your blog roll. :)

Please change from http://foxyroxyloxy.blogspot.com/ to http://www.roxy08.com/
Funny I had time to organize my new domain name hehe :D

I have several posts sitting in my drafts at the moment, but I dont know which one to publish yet. I am still in LAZY / CRAZY MODE. But it's important that my EMO MODE is over. Atleast I get to have fun and forget about him just for a little while. I know this will come back just not sure when. :D

I am still on Plurk, Yahoo messenger and Gtalk. Send me a message if you feel like talking. :D
Yahoo: black_angel080
Gtalk: rox.cmag

08-08-08 Beijing Olympics? NOT - Is this your lucky day? YEP. :)

2008-08-08T21:58:00.000+08:00

Ok so this post is not about the 2008 Beijing Olympics. I have no idea what's happening on there. Can't be bothered to check the news. Not interested. And also, I hate the news, I don't know but sometimes it just scare the crap out of me. Anyway, since this day only happens once and I'm still trying to believe that this is a lucky day, (for some people atleast) Why not give a little love to my fellow readers? I am seriously running out of ideas on what to write, and if I do, I would end up writing about that moron again. :D

So, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, whether I should do this or not, is it worth it or not? But do I really need to have 2nd thoughts? ofcourse not! So for all my readers and commenter and also for my favorite Bloggers, this is going to be your lucky day (so thank 08-08-08 Lmao :P) as I've decided to give a spot specially for your badge and to advertise your own blog on my blog page for absolutely FREE! Isn't that amazing? This will be on for the whole month of August! So come visit my page more :P

Ofcourse, my top priorities are my top 5 favorite bloggers and my top 5 commenters. If you read this post, please send me your badges. If not, I will send you a message on your tagboard :D THE EFFORT! :) This is me, what can I do? (Dalian nyo habang ako ay ginaganahan pa. :P)

Ejiikiieru - Visitor/Commenter/Dropper/My Favorite Blogger Starts on 08-10-2008 24 Hours
Van - Visitor/Commenter/My Favorite Blogger Starts on 08-11-2008 24 Hours
Mico Lauron - Visitor/Commenter/Dropper/My Favorite Blogger Starts on 08-12-2008 24 Hours
Manilenya - Visitor/Commenter/Dropper/My Favorite Blogger Starts on 08-13-2008 24 Hours
Mang BADoy - My Favorite Blogger Starts on 08-14-2008 24 Hours

Send me your badges quick quick quick!

For others - don't get jealous silly you! everyone will get a chance :) All you have to do is send me an email at rox.cmag@gmail.com

Don't be shy! I would be really happy if you send me your badges! :) So quick quick quick do it NOW so I can put it on schedule! woo0oho0o0! :D

Ways to place a free ad request:

You must VISIT my blog EVERYDAY.
To get the free ad, you have to make your own badge for your blog, it could be simply your picture or a print shot from your blog or if you want to be artistic chorvaness. :P Its up to you really. just REMEMBER it should be 125x125 or 130x145 max. EX: PNG File 130x145
Please send me your name, your link and you also have to send your badge by email attachment (JPG or PNG will do) at rox.cmag@gmail.com PLEASE! NO SPAM!
I am working 9 hours a day so it might take some time to put up your badge on my blog, PLEASE be patient! I will reply on your email to let you know if I have accepted your ad request. Once approved you will see your badge below .Absolutely Cool People. on the date given.
One at a time! you have to fall back in line if you want another ad request! If you are new on my blog, don't worry! This free ad thing ends on end of August so you still have plenty of time to visit my blog :)
1 blog a day. If there are still available slots, I will rotate my ads from my top 5 and blog roll. So send your badges and promote your blog on my blog for free! :)

That's about it I guess, any questions just send me an email or simply click "Live chat with Roxy" below .About Me. I am 24 hours online on Gtalk - rox.cmag

Oooooh I looooove to love people. EMO MODE: OFF - AT LAST! Pretending? - HELL NO!

Bits and pieces

2008-08-05T15:36:00.000+08:00

I could say I am not really good in remembering things. I AM forgetful lucy. I can't understand why I forget important things and remember things that shouldn't be remembered?

It's raining today. Typhoon 8 actually. It seems to be getting along with my darn emotions. I received a very good news yesterday at work, and it should be a happy day for me but it became the opposite. I dont think I deserve to be happy with the good news. I feel guilty.

I am dealing with some personal issues at the moment, too personal that I couldn't make an entry out of it. see its not all about him you know, I have other issues too. :D But whatever it is, it's affecting me big time and overpowering my happy emotions. Other than dealing with this personal issues, I am also missing him. It's all coming back and I don't know how to avoid it this time. Another emo mode day for me and it sucks because I get to stay at home which means I will be torturing myself for the rest of the day by reminiscing the conversations I had with him.

This day I wish the typhoon stops so I could go to work.

I tried watching ANGEL last night rather updating my blog, I just don't feel like doing any updates cause I would end up writing about him again like NOW. I woke up this morning hoping I would feel better but it didnt make any difference. I turned on the tv to check the weather forecast and found myself flipping through the channels and ended up on BBC channel which reminds me of him again, then started thinking about my conversations with him. Hearing these people talk on TV just makes me miss him so damn much. I remember when he was playing with his accent, it was really cute. I also remember his expressions that amuses me. It was just absolutely cute. *Sigh* I remember the way he talks gently just so I could understand him properly. I remember everything. WHY?

I guess Im just trying to remember these things so that I get my mind off my other issues. I am not expecting everyone to understand as these are just bits and pieces. its just being me. Just a bit of me.

A song I think would fit my mood.

Im With You (acoustic) - Avril Lavigne

Reversed - Re-post

2008-08-02T22:12:00.001+08:00

This post contains obscene and explicit language. Children are not allowed to read. :D

This is now the most ugliest artwork I've ever laid eyes on. Piece of crap.

I made a poem for him last month. He said it's very good. YEAH RIGHT. You bloody fool.

Anything For you - Poem <-- Click here to see original post.

Anything For you - But that was Bepore! >.< (before) hehe

Time to give you this smile
A smile that is not worthwhile
The times I've been so into you,
Will do anything just to forget you,

Endless days, Sleepless nights
What I'd do to kick you right
Again, I will do this fight
Whatever happens, just get out of my sight

Nothing in common, gave me too much pain
I wont hold back for I have to gain,
to not worry, don't feel sorry for me
Should have mentioned this a million times,
I hate you, I hate you, I hate you,

Time will come, I will be happy in someone's arms,
I will be moving forward freely with no harm.

...and you will still be a stupid inconsiderate fucking moron.

Hay. Tanga talaga. - Pure Tagalog Entry

2008-07-30T23:49:00.000+08:00

Wala na sanang duguin dito. :D

Sa mga taong nagmamalasakit saakin at pumipigil (alam kong para saaking ikabubuti ang pagpigil) na magsend ng message sakanya, ipagpatawad nyo, dahil hindi ko natiis ang sarili ko at sinendan ko siya ng message today. Eto lang naman ang sinend ko: "uh, Hi?" - Parang talaga ako tanga ano? o tanga na talaga. Matagal na! Nabbwisit ako sa sarili ko. Pati narin sa walang kwentang hayop na lalaking pinagsendan ko ng message na yan.

Eto naman ang aking dahilan: Sana ay mainitindihan nyo rin -
Kahapon, at nang makalawa kausap ko ang aking oh so sweet na pinsan, marami akong narealize nung nakausap ko siya, at isa dito ay kung kailan nga ako handang mag "move on" ang aking sagot naman ay "hindi ko alam kung kailan, hindi pa ako ready" ang sagot naman nya ay, "kailan pa? umaasa ka parin" isang malaking OO ang sagot ko sa dahilan na walang CLOSURE saaming dalawa. Basta isang araw tinigilan nalang nya akong sagutin saaking mga mensahe. Ang sabi nila, yun na ang closure. Ibig sabihin iniiwasan ka na nya, ayaw na nya. Hindi parin ako naniwala, sinasabi parin ng puso't isip ko na meron pang pag-asa. Titigil lang ako kung sabihin nya na ayaw nya saakin, pero napagisip isip ko, mahirap sabihin yun ng deretsuhan, kahit ako cguro, mahihirapan. Nang araw na nakausap ko ang aking pinsan, yun din ang araw na nakahagilap ako ng balita tungkol sa aswang na yan. Simula nang tinigilan na nya ako kausapin marami siyang ginawang bago sa buhay nya. Nagbago talaga siya, at kasabay sa pagbabagong iyon, ay ang hindi pagkausap saakin. Tanong ko lang sa sarili ko, kasama ba ako sa mga masamang nakaraan nya? Ano ba talaga ang nagawa ko para ako ay iwanan nalang nya na nakabitin sa ere? O talagang ako ay ginawa nya lang pampalipas oras? Haaay. masakit isipin. Pero kailangang tanggapin. :)

Masaya ako para saknya ngayon dahil nabuhayan ulit siya ng loob. Hindi na siya yung lalaking nakilala ko na may galit at poot sa buong mundo, na kahit paglabas ng bahay ay hindi nya magawa. Nang malaman ko na maganda ang progreso ang takbo ng buhay nya, doon ka biglang naisip na padalahan siya ng mensahe, kung baga, para lang ipaalam na masaya ako sa nangyayari saknya. At siyempre, patalsik na rin na "baka" meron pa ngang pag-asa, so nagtry ako. At meron pa, gusto ko rin patunayan sa sarili ko kung paano ko mattake ang hindi nya pagsagot saakin, bago ko rin sha padalahan ng mensahe, sinabi ko na sa sarili ko na "kapag hindi to nagreply. wala na talaga tatangalin ko na siya sa lahat ng messenger ko" bibigyan ko siya ng isang araw at kung wala. eh di wala. Mabuti narin nang makapagmove on na talaga ako. BOOM. walang sagot. naginhawaan at nadismaya ako. pero hindi ako nasaktan. naginhawaan, kasi gusto ko narin naman mag move on wala lang talaga akong mapanghawakan noon, pero ngayon meron na, madali na para saakin. Nadismaya, kasi normal yun. dahil kahit nga papaano ay umaasa parin ako. Hindi nasaktan, HINDI talaga. wala akong naramdaman na sakit sa hindi malamang dahilan. Aaminin ko hanggang ngayon, naghihintay parin ako. Mabuti narin na ginawa ko ito, dahil makakatulong ito sa pagtanggap ng mga pangyayari. Kung sumagot man siya, HINDI KO ALAM ANG GAGAWIN KO pero 100% sure ako na hindi na sasagot yun. Sabi nga ng pinsan ko, masmadali mag move on kung tatangalin mo lahat ng makakapagpaalala ng tungkol saknya.

Bibigyan ko siya ng hanggang bukas ng umaaga - binibigyan ko din ang sarili ko ng oras para mapaghandaan ang aking sunod na gagawin - ayun ay ang pagtanggal ng lahat ng ala-ala. Kasabay ng pagtatapos ng buwan ng julyo, sana ay matapos narin ang lahat at maging matagumpay ang aking mga naging desisyon.

Sa mga taong walang sawang makinig sa aking mga katangahan at walang sawa sa pagpayo maraming maraming salamat. Alam ko na dapat noon ko pa ito ginawa pero hindi ako nakinig sainyo. Totoo nga, nagiging tanga talaga ang tao pagdating sa pag-ibig.

Siyet. Super emo. Sa tingin ko lang kasi kung hindi ko ito ilalabas maloloka ako. Sa ganitong paraan maeesplika ko nang mabuti at... maiiwasan din ang awards night. (maiiwasan din na mapagalitan.. hehe) Mashado kong ginawang big deal ito! haay. Sawa na ako.

OK LSS naman. Para sakanya to. Phak talaga siya. Grrrrrrr. Salamat din sayo hayop ka.

PS: katangahan nanaman. Hindi naman nya maiintindihan to, kaya naman walang preno ang mga salita ko. Kung mapadaan man siya sa blogelya ko, bahala siyang maghanap ng translator. TAE sha. Phak. hehe :P

Another PS: To my English readers, sorry. I have many reasons why I used my own language. Hope you understand. Cheers :D

The day you wrote this poem

2008-07-29T08:37:00.000+08:00

... You made me happy. You made me smile. You made me feel I'm special, a feeling I never had for a long time.

May 18, 2008
Author: undisclosed

Looking at you while you're looking at me,
Wondering what all the things you say you can see,
I wonder what will happen when we will meet,
Whether ill be kneeling and begging at your feet,

The days we have been talking have always been good for me,
You have set some of my demons inside my head free,

I hope the day will come soon,
Then we can lay one night looking at the same moon,

See you soon

July 28, 2008
Author : Roxy

I read this poem you wrote every night holding my pillow tight,
Wishing on the stars for just another sight
thinking of you till the sun shines bright.

Look at me, waiting for you,
this poem you wrote, makes me want to rubble around you too.
Hoping the day would come and meet us two,
it's a dream I would never wake up when I'm with you.

A poem not making any sense,
what I'd do to make a difference?
Now that you're long gone,
everything has been said and done.

For the nose bleed... haha :D

Pinaasa mo lang ako
Kung ano ano pang pinagsasabi mo
puro labas sa ilong at kasinungalingan ang lumalabas sa bibig mo

Para kang insectong hindi mawala sa isip ko
ewan ko ba kung bakit ako nagkakaganito
Pang-ilan na ba ako sa mga nabiktima mo?

Siguro sayang saya ka sa nangyayari saakin
ano bang nagawa ko at ako ay pinarusahan mo ng ganito?
iniwan nalang sa ere at ginawa ang puso kong bato

isa lang ang masasabi ko sayo
isang malaking P H A K
pahabols...
ShukingInamesh kang hayop ka. mawala ka na sana sa isip ko!

hehe.. Ohhhhhh. That felt really good!

Tangkilikin ang sariling wika. I thank you. :D

P E A C E.

Mr. PHAK

2008-07-26T02:29:00.000+08:00

Wooot. Ive been busy socializing I totally forgot that I need to do updates! So here it goes:

As Ive mentioned on my recent entries, I had a friend I met on chat who came over to visit me here in Hong Kong, her name is Nicole and she is malaysian-chinese. She is currently staying in Macau for a Summer course until end of July. She came back here last weekend (18th of July) and stayed til 21st. I really had a great time with her last 3 days!!! It feels sooo damn good to have a friend you could talk to and do silly things with. Oh I missed that soo MUCH. Ive been a loner for a long time and I totally forgot how to have fun and be silly again, I never smiled so much since 2 guys broke my fat heart and now, I am in a lighter mood and it feeeeels so good! I am writing this not only for my readers (Naks! may readers pang nalalaman) but for me to have something to look back and read (one of my good memories) in the future. :)

* July 18 Friday Night - The Peak, HK

- Nicole went straight to my place from Macau Ferry (Shuntak Centre) at around 6pm. I was still at work so I asked my Aunt to prepare food for her :) Luckily my aunt cooked Sopas (Filipino Soup with chicken, pasta and Milk) the night before. Surprisingly she ate the Sopas! and she loved it! cooool :) Time was very precious so that night we went to the peak to see the great Hong Kong View (city lights etc etc) with my aunt and cousin. The weather was not so good as it was a bit foggy, but it didnt stop us from taking photos here and there, everywhere :D And finally we got tired of taking photos so we had a snack at Burger King. It didnt end there; we went up the Sky Terrace to see a much better view :) but only we paid $20 each for entrance. Darn. hmp. After all the photo shoots, posing here and there, we took the Peak Tram going down the hill. That was my first time. YEP. First time. haha. Ive been living here for years but I never took that tram. It was nice!<- Check this out! (haha feeling feelinagan na british accennttt damnnnn waaah!)

We went straight to my Uncle's work after peak, (He sings in a bar somewhere in TST, Kowloon) <-Check this link to see him sing, He's my idol. :) So we stayed and waited for him to finish and went home after. That night as we were preparing to sleep, like on skype, we never stopped talking, we talked for like hours and hours until both of us fell asleep, until both of us were snoring our asses off. haha. The first night ends there and I felt tired but I was really happy. :)

* July 19 Saturday - Mang Ambo / Big Buddha in Lantau

- Since I discovered Nicole wasn't picky on foods, I decided to bring her to Mang Ambo's turo turo carinderia in world wide house, We had Egg Pie (from Goldilocks) and the well known Halo-Halo. (Mix Mix :D , A cold filipino dessert) and I am so glad she liked it ;) no no She loved it! She said its waaay better than what they have in Malaysia :) wooow. Im so proud. haha. Busy eating our Halo-Halo, little did we know time is running so fast and it's almost 4pm! It will take 1.5 hours to get to the Big Buddha! So off we go to Tung chung via MTR - 45 mins journey from Central. Then took the bus from Tung Chung to Ngong Ping. Eventhough we have this new cable car ride straight to Ngong Ping village, Nikki very much preferred to take the bus instead of taking the cable car (which really annoyed me!) I hate long journeys hehe..and besides, the cable car is so convenient plus we could see the views but NO we took the old fashioned way! LOL I think she heard the news before about the new Ngong Ping 360 cable car being stuck for an hour in mid-air. Oh well HAHA I cant blame her and what can I do, she's the visitor :D nothing to do but agree. :D At long last after the oh so long journey to Lantau Island we managed to arrive at around 5pm (Buddha closes at 6 haha.) It was foggy as ever as we were up the Hong Kong Mountains the view was super FANTASTIC, not only the view but the serene ambience gave me a light feeling I never had before. :) It was great. We met my cousin in Causeway Bay afterwards, we had dinner in Korean Barbeque Restaurant. Oh Gosh. Buffet again, indulge ourselves after a 1 hour walk to the buddha LOL. Fooood Again :D We slept early that night as both of us are excited on the big day! Disney day! weee!

* July 20 Sunday - Hong Kong Disneyland - The day I met Mr. Pak

The big day has finally come!! Ok I admit I was really excited! I haven't been to HK disneyland ever. I said to myself before, I would never go there unless I like the person I'm going with and unless I get free passes. So I did get free passes and of course I like the person I'm going with. The reason is because I want my first time to be fun and memorable! Speaking of which, theres a little story while at disney - I met "MR. PAK" who is he?! A stupid fucking moron who just happened to curse me infront of his goddamn kids and infront of hundreds of family. so the story starts; we queued in the line for this cup ride. (you know the cup that goes round and round cant remember what its called LOL) anyway, there was this chinese family infront of us, The usual mum, dad, 2kids. Nicole suddenly went pass through them because she saw the other mainlanders cutting the line. So the "mum" wasn't very happy about what nicole did so they closed the line (Nagvolt-in ba, hawak kamay churvanes damn.) I got annoyed cause it was really packed and we were all squeezed at the back like sardines in a can, so I approached the "mum"in a nice way and said,

Roxy: Excuse me, could you please move forward a little bit... and she started nagging saying The MUM: "Dong cat da line! see, you fren cut it!" (Dont cut the line, see your friend cut it)
Roxy: Fine! Roxy shouting: (Nikki come back here! come back to the line and let these people go first!!!)
The MUM: "you want to cut the line that's why we close da line!" ...and the rest was blah blah blidy blah blah "She just didn't stop nagging"
Roxy: Ok. Stop it! I just want you to move a little forward cause we are so squeezed in here! so just move and stop talking!!
The DAD: it is ok to move a little bit forward..... (I think he said that 3 times in a calm way)
... The "MUM" still went blah blah blah blah blah after several seconds..

Roxy: What the hell is your problem!?!! it's just a fucking line!

So I kind of lost control and blurted out something I wasn't suppose to. :D I admit I was wrong but it just happened and I just got carried away. Truly sorry for saying the F word. :D

As soon as the sentence ended, I heard a loud "PHAK U!" (F**k You) and "Dong mek meh mat" (Don't make me mad) -That was the Huge 6ft hulk-look-alike dad.

...I was stunned. I felt scared. I just looked at him thinking what to do. All the kids and parents was looking at him, I said to myself shit I can't curse him back! I was scared that I might get kicked out from Disneyland! Plus the kids. I don't want to set a bad example! no no no. I just stared at him. NOTHING. I didn't do anything. I wanted to say a lot of nasty things but I just cant. Nikki can't control herself she was laughing her ass off at my back. I am so gonna kill her! imagine I got into a fight because of her!

...This is not going to ruin my day.. this is not going to ruin my day.. stuck in my mind for the rest of my disney day. haaaay.. my oh so memorable disney day. I have nothing to say. LOL

So there you go. My Day with Mr. PAK other than that I still managed to enjoy myself for the rest of the day. :) Ive totally forgotten all about it after I watched the fireworks, it was just absolutely brilliant. :D

That's about it I guess. haha Nicole left HK the day after, we hugged and said our goodbyes before she left..

Nicole, Thanks for everything too. I am so glad we met, I am looking forward to visiting you in malaysia SOON.

Pahabols: HOY hindi ako lesbian noh. nililiwanag ko lang. uyy defensive. :D Phak U! hehe

Cool Pinoy Blogs - Tagalog Post

2008-07-22T13:57:00.000+08:00

Project Lafftrip Laffapalooza

Inimbitahan ako ni lunes na bumoto sa isang blog na may patimpalak (hehe tama ba?) - Ito ay Project lafftrip Laffapalooza (I-click ang link para sumali sa pagboto) Ayon kay Lunes, dapat iboto ang apat na binoto nya. So ang ginawa ko ay sinubaybayan ko ang tatlo at aking napagtanto na bagama't maraming entries sa palagay ko ay karapat dapat nga silang iboto. Mr. D - Sorry hindi kita maboto kasi di ako maka-access sa blog mo. :(

Unang pagboto ko ito so mejo hindi pa ako sanay sa mga terms :)

1.) KokeyMonster - Jusco po rudeh, walastek ah ah eto ang blog na talagang hindi ako pinatigil sa pagtawa! Seriously dude, saang lupalop ka nanggaling? Are you normal? Grabe ang mga terms bakit ganun banong bano ako kahit di ko maintindihan!? haha No. 1 ko ito. :D

2.) Chiksilog - Too good to be true. Yun lang. Wala akong maisip na term para sa blog ni Xienahgirl, Grabe ang takbo ng isip nya hindi ko mahabol. Isa rin sa mga kinababanuan ko netong past few days minsan yun iba kasi pag nagpost ng mahaba, tatamadin ka na, pero dito, grabe hindi ko namamalayan umaga na kakabasa. hehe ay nako sabihin nang exage. :P

3.) Mariano - Etong dude na ito. unbelievable. normally, pag sinabi mong loser ka. eh loser ka, puros kacornihan lang lumalabas sa bibig mo. Puros katangahan ang sinusulat mo, Pero bakit si mariano? Loser na corny pa, pero pag umarangkada na sa blog walang katumbas walastek din! Sana lahat ng loser kapareho nya para everybody happy. :P

4.) Mang BADoy - Haaay. Sana umabot. Isa rin ito sa mga hinahangaan kong blogs. Ito ay karapat dapt ding iboto! :D

Yun pang 5 ko.. ewan, wala nako maisip. hehe.

So eto na, tapos narin. at hindi ako titigil sa pagbabasa ng blog nila! dahil ako ay isang bano. At ang isang bano ay dapat magbasa ng mga nakakabanong blog. Keep it up people!

psst Lunes, lakas mo saakin noh? :P

Cheers

Quick post

2008-07-21T14:20:00.000+08:00

First I would like to say, I missed writing in my blog sooooo damn much. =P

Thought I'd make a quick post for my pending invites, exlinks, readers (Naks!) and friends. I have been very busy over the weekends so I havent had the chance to update my blog.

I will also be busy this month as I am about to train the new staff for the office and we are starting our summer sale. I apologize in advance if I won't be able to update as much but I will try.

PS: Eyebags, I am still working on the voting thing. I am carefully observing the 4 blogs... at the moment, so far so good :) So I will let you know if Ive made my decision and will post my vote according to the instructions given in a few days.. Thanks! :)

Batman - The Dark Knight

2008-07-18T01:45:00.000+08:00

I know ya'll see this coming. Yes I am going to make a post about a movie again. :P

This month Ive seen 3 Movies - Wanted, Hancock, and lastly Batman - The Dark Knight. BRILLIANT MOVIE.

If I were a movie critic and to rate these three movies, I would say Batman is on the top.

Joker -I chose to put up Joker's (Heath Ledger) Photo out of respect on his tragical death. (May he rest in peace) I have been blown away by his performance in this movie and it is a pity that we have lost one of the amazing actors that showbiz industry could ever have. No one could have ever done this role but him, this is meant for him. 2 Thumbs up to you heath. :)

Favorite Scene - Hong Kong Scene - I am P.R.O.U.D. I have nothing more to say. Hong Kong indeed has the most breath-taking views ever in Asia. I was born here, I live here, I will DIE here. This is how I love Hong Kong.

Story Plot - This movie was not just another normal action movie, although we are all aware that "batman" is based on the comic book super heroes, still they have done an amazing story twist with a little bit of reality in it. One thing I noticed is that they have more dialogues than action which is good because from that it explains everything and you will know the true story behind batman & Gotham city.

Bat Mobile - As with any Batman film, batman's vehicle plays a humungus role in the movie!! The latest Batmobile all sexy function where the old ones were simply comical!!!
one word : AWESOME!!!!

The Dark Knight - and lastly........ The batman himself. HE IS SO FREAKIN HOOOOT. Christian Bale pulled it off very well with his SEXY-HUSKY-TO DROOL OVER-VOICE and his tantalizing body. OH - EHM - GEE !! Though George Clooney did very well in the previous batman movies but I must admit its a pleasure to see a younger one! :P No offense to george he's still hot but he's better off with more matured movies :)

I have always liked batman since I was kid. I have watched all batman movies and this, I must say is the best of all.

I am amazed on how I managed to divert my emotions!!! isn't that great! hehe :P

PLEASE DO WATCH THIS MOVIE...PLEASEEEEE I am begging. haha over. LOL

I miss you

2008-07-17T21:25:00.000+08:00

Thought I'd make a quick post. Sorry I can't help it.

I am missing him soooooo MUCH. I saw him online. I thought this was easy, but it's not! I really want to send him a message. I am trying to resist myself and trying to think that If I do send him a message and he ignores me, I will go back to fucking zero again and regret that I sent him a message. So NO. I wont cause I dont want to upset myself. But I am sooo missing him. Really. :(

Anyway.. I am going out to watch a movie. I am taking the 10.20pm slot. Just to stop me from missing him. This is not right. I shouldn't be like this. I need to be stronger. :(

I am writing to keep myself busy until I go out for the movies otherwise I will send him a message. I am not kidding.

So I will just dedicate this song to him. :(

I Miss You - Aaliyah

I miss you

It’s been too long and I’m lost without you
So what am I gonna do, said I’ve been needin’ you,
wantin’ you
Wonderin’ if you’re the same and who’s been with you
Is your heart still mine, I wanna cry sometimes

I miss you

Off to college, yes, you went away
Straight from high school you up and left me
We were close friends, also lovers
Did everything for one another

Now you’re gone and I’m lost without you here now
But I know I gotta live and make it somehow

Come back to me (To me)
Can you feel me (Callin’)
Hear me callin’ for you (For you)
‘Cause it’s

It’s been too long and I’m lost without you
So what am I gonna do, said I’ve been needin’ you,
wantin’ you (Woo...ooh...ooh...)
Wonderin’ if you’re the same and who’s been with you
Is your heart still mine, I wanna cry sometimes

Now I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ ‘bout you
And the days we used to share
It’s drivin’ me crazy, I don’t know what to do
I’m just wonderin’ if you still care

And I wanna let you know that it’s killin’ me
I know you got another life, you gotta concentrate,
baby

Come back to me (To me)
Can you feel me (Callin’)
Hear me callin’ for you (For you)
‘Cause it’s

It’s been too long and I’m lost without you
So what am I gonna do, said I’ve been needin’ you,
wantin’ you (Baby)
Wonderin’ if you’re the same and who’s been with you
Is your heart still mine, I wanna cry sometimes

I miss you

It’s been too long and I’m lost without you
What am I gonna do, I’ve been needing you, wantin’ you
Wonderin’ if you’re the same and who’s been with you
Is your heart still mine, I wanna cry sometimes (Yeah)

I miss you

I can’t (I) wait no (No more) more (No)
Since you went away
I don’t really feel like talkin’ (No)
Don’t wanna hear them bug me (No, no)
Tell me do you understand me
I can’t do but be without you

It’s been too long and I’m lost without you (Now tell
what I’m gonna)
What am I gonna do, I’ve been needin’ you, wantin’ you
(Yeah)
Wonderin’ if you’re the same and who’s been with you
Is your heart still mine (Yeah, yeah), I wanna cry
sometimes (Ooh...)

I miss you (Baby)

It’s been too long and I’m lost without you (Oh, no,
no, no)
So what am I gonna do, I’ve been needin’ you, wantin’
you (Whoa)
Wonderin’ if you’re the same and who’s been with you
(Hey...)
Is your heart still mine, I wanna cry sometimes (Oh,
no, baby)

I miss you

It’s been too long (Oh, yeah) and I’m lost without you
So what am I gonna do (No, no) I’ve been needin’ you,
wantin’ you (Baby)
Wonderin’ if you’re the same and who’s been with you
Is your heart still mine, I wanna cry sometimes

Behind Blue Eyes

2008-07-14T18:44:00.001+08:00

I used to like this song, probably because he likes it too. But now it's just so depressing and it's tearing my heart apart whenever I hear it. Weird cause I could easily delete it from my play list, but why cant I? I guess it's ok to miss him sometimes, just a little bit...

The thought of him is like a little bug seeping into my mind.

Haay. What to do. What to do. tsk.

BEHIND BLUE EYES - Limp Biskit

Behind Blue Eyes

No one knows what it's like

To be the bad man

To be the sad man Behind blue eyes

And no one knows What it's like
to be hated To be fated
to telling only lies

[Chorus:]
But my dreams they aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free

No one knows what its like
To feel these feelings
Like i do, and i blame you!
No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through

[Chorus]

Discover l.i.m.p. say it [x4]
No one knows what its like
To be mistreated, to be defeated
Behind blue eyes No one knows how to say
That they're sorry and don't worry
I'm not telling lies

[Chorus]

No one knows what its like
To be the bad man, to be the sad man
Behind blue eyes.

First Meeting

2008-07-12T14:40:00.000+08:00

So we finally met. We clicked on that very moment - No awkwardness. Im glad I finally met her, it's true that you won't know a person until you meet them in person. She is so fun to be with! Weve just been together for a couple of hours and I feel like ive known her long time ago! WEIRD. :)

So we had dinner as planned, The food was good, (Buffet is always good!) :P And we ate like a horse dear god. We had about 2 starters, a huge maincourse, and tons of dessert. (Never ending CHEESECAKE) DARN. So forget about the diet!!! I can do that next week and work my ass off to the gym. For now I will enjoy and have fun with nikki!

Ofcourse a day wouldnt last without pictures! These are just some from my phone the rest are still in nikki's camera. Weeeeee :)

Last Poem - What it means to me

2008-07-12T13:41:00.000+08:00

What it means to me

Essentially
To be a part of me,
To Hear and feel me,
To look right through me,
To help and set free, the true person inside me.

Regrettably
I showed a different side,
To be accepted and be liked,
Days, months then years go by,
I have believed my own lies,
Losing the true person inside,
I tried so desperately to hide.

Preferably
This happened to me and you,
To deal with variance issues,
No longer sure who is who
Pessimisms, aggravations,
I'll end it now and start anew.
No Expectations, No asking in return,
No promises, I won’t let this burn,
Unless you want to stop me and make me turn.

Forgivingly
I shared the truth,
I see the person I never knew,
I have high hopes; Try my best to hold on,
To believe dreams can come true,
And now here I stand,
Between us, no pretense or glass
With one last thing I want to see,
You'll never know what it means to me.

________________________

This means nothing now

Visitor

2008-07-11T13:40:00.000+08:00

I haven't had any chance to make an entry for the last 3 days as I was busy on some other things (Work) and also.. Blog Hopping :) It's so much fun especially when there are a lot of fascinating things to see/read in a blog! Now it is what I am looking forward to everytime I open my internet browser which is good as this is keepin my mind off things :P My last post was totally not me at all >.< Just kiddin :P. Oh well. It's a now or never thing. NO REGRETS. :)

So anyway, I am so excited because I am finally meeting Nicole! (Nicole - is a friend I met through skype and weve been talking nearly 3 months - she is such a doll!, luv her to bits :*)

At the moment, I feel excited at the same time nervous cause this is my first time to meet someone I just knew online. There are so many things Im worrying about like, is she going to like me? will she be a snob? are we going to have fun? Will I be able to entertain her? a lot more but Im just too lazy to type :p hehe I can't help but to worry. I guess this is normal. All first times makes me nervous and I must say, this is a big deal! So, I hope everything goes well!

I made reservations and we will have dinner buffet in a hotel somewhere in Wanchai tonight wooooohooO! hehe (We both like to eat. so don't laugh, walang diet muna! shet. hehe) then a few drinks. That should be ok I guess :D She will stay at my place, another thing to worry about!!! I live in a shoebox! how the hell can we all fit in our place!?!? My aunt and my cousin are also visiting us from the philippines, plus my Sister and Uncle so we are now 6 including nikki and me. hahaha DARN. I hope its ok. lol we'll see how it goes, I'll post some of our pics when I get the chance!

Chat history

2008-07-08T20:02:00.000+08:00

This post has been sitting in my drafts for the last few days and now I think it's about time to publish it. This is one of the main reasons why I started blogging and I hope this is the answer to everyones question - What the hell is she talking about!?

Is it good or bad to delete chat histories? I am obviously not over with this guy I met on the net. But I managed to delete all chat histories. YES, I did it. I know I am not making any sense. I came home early one night from work and logged on to my messenger and noticed there are a lot of contacts that I don't know and don't talk to anymore so I removed them from my contacts list. I saw his name out of the blue and started to think about him again... Sorry but I can't help it.

I browsed through our chat history and read a couple of our conversations a few months ago. I wish I could just bring back time and kept it simple as that way. It was good casual conversations, exchanging good music and we talk about mostly our daily lives, pasts and whatever comes in mind, we talk randomly like what normal people does online - No strings attached, Past time. What differs him from other people I talk to online is that he always makes sense and he listens and pay attention to every bits and pieces and miniscule details I say. I admit there are times that I just talk shit and totally not making any sense at all.

I started chatting online since I was 11 and I never got into deeper conversations like with him EVER. For the first time, I was honest with somebody over the net. He claims he's good in reading minds and with that he never fails to amaze me. He taught me how to loosen up a bit and not to worry about what people say about me. I never thought it's possible for someone to know someone so well even if you haven't met each other in person yet as if soulmates (!), and never had I imagined I would get emotionally attached and fall for someone Ive just talk to on the net in a short span of time.

Was I mislead? NOPE. He had never mislead me. I made wrong assumptions and I am the only one to blame. He was just helping me and he was trying to tell me but I was again in a selective hearing mode desperate to believe in one thing that I know is impossible to happen - LOVE.

Was it love? or... Lust? How can it be love or lust? Love is to get involved mentally, emotionally & physically, and lust is to get involved sexually, but neither of it happened? So how the hell could I answer that? although I have one thing in mind, his life has been in a chaotic situation and there's a little spot in my mind that's telling me to help him and make him happy. So... what is that?

Is he worthy of my help? - I am not sure. I didnt consider myself helpful. Instead I just made things worst for him. He is such an amazing person, very smart and knows his rights. He does complain a lot but he made me realize complaining is not bad after all. It is to prove that everything should be equal and not just let people get away with it. I admire him for his love and dedication to his kids despite the fact that he's going through some difficulties. And I am impressed on how he handle this type of situation. I mean seriously, how could someone handle a situation same as his? Honestly, his life is not what you want to exchange yours with but I find it interesting and it made me think that if there was a slight possibility that I could be a part of it, I would go for it. But I know my limitations and I have no right to expect to be part of his life. Him being a friend to me should have been enough... I just want to make it clear that he has (undisclosed to avoid some things) kids but he is now single. I'm just telling because I don't want people to think that I am a home wrecker or whatever term you can call that. I myself went through that phase. (yep, my parents split up when I was 6 then the story goes on and on..blah blah) I definitely don't have any plans to be a mistress. LOL :P

And then all of these are just one side - My side. I never knew his side cause I chose not to listen, probably afraid to hear the truth. I am not expecting everyone to be happy about my silly acts but I am normal and this is what normal people does. (I think) I admit sometimes I dont think before I act then regret it later on. It's not good but I am trying my best to change. Would you believe I actually told him that I am willing to wait even if it takes forever? I am not joking. This is probably one of the reasons that driven him further away and I lose the friend I need. He was just obviously giving out a helping hand, but I wanted more, more than he was willing to give. And now that he can't provide the help I needed, it stressed him out even more, which I have no intentions to but everything just happened so fast. I crossed a line and took advantage of his good nature.

What do/will I gain on publishing this post? Peace. Explanation. Acceptance of rejection.

...Most importantly CLOSURE. We will see.

Hancock

2008-07-08T12:23:00.000+08:00

Another MUST-SEE MOVIE!

- Comedy, Drama, Action & Fantasy all in one!

"Good Job" "ASSHOLE" You'll hear a lot of these words mentioned in this movie. Trust me! you laugh your ass off. LOL Watch it, you'll know what I mean!

Charlize Theron

One word: HOT! - she is so friggin hot in this movie. I didn't like her role as a mum and a housewife it just didnt suit her! accck I really want to reveal something but I can't! so just WATCH THE MOVIE. :)

Hop till you drop

2008-07-07T16:30:00.000+08:00

Okay, I must admit now I am so addicted to blog hopping. Thanks to eyebags. :P

I should be sleeping by now, it's nearly 2am (HK Time) and I still have work tomorrow. Im suppose to post about the movie Ive just seen earlier. I just got lazy and my eyes are sooooo tired. Ive just been blog hopping the whole night and I never imagined I'd see lots of interesting blogs!

Anyway, Ive just joined Plurk! it seems cool but I haven't had a good look yet. I will. probably uh, tomorrow, gawd I need to do so many things but Im just stuck with blog hopping!

So.... Hop till you drop! sounds nice hehe

Til my next.

Twitter & My LSS

2008-07-06T22:36:00.000+08:00

I just joined twitter and I have no idea how this thing works. I could only think of one person who could tell me how this works and explain it to me very well. But then, why would I ask, I could just simply read. But I don't like reading, I like everything to be explained to me and I must say, that's what he's good at. Here we go again.... grrrr.

What to do? lol. Can't help it!

Anyway...
I'd just stick to MyBlogLog first and focus on there.

Meanwhile, its LSS time! This song was so popular in the philippines I think about 2-3 years ago. The lyrics just came to my mind while I was in the shower and kaboom my LSS. Ive been humming this song for nearly 3 hours now. It's really nice.

I'l definitely add this song to my Ipod again, this song makes me feel good. :)

Rainbow - South Border

Rainbow - Southborder (Filipino Band/Artists)

Fallin' out, fallin' in
Nothing's sure in this world no, no
Breakin' out, breakin' in
Never knowin' what lies ahead
We can really never tell it all no, no, no
Say goodbye, say hello
To a lover or friend
Sometimes we never could understand
Why some things begin then just end
We can really never tell it all no, no, no

But oh, can't you see
That no matter what happens
Life goes on and on
So baby, just/please smile
Coz im always around you
And ill make you see how beautiful
Life is for you and me

Take a little time baby
See the butterflies color's
Listen to the birds that were sent
To sing for me and you
Can you feel me
This is such a wonderful place to be
Even if there is pain now
Everything would be all right
For as long as the world still turns
There will be night and day
Can you hear me
There's a rainbow always after the rain

Ohh, whoa

Hittin' high, hittin' low
Win or lose you should go, yeah yeah
Getting warm, getting cold
Weather could be so good or bad
But baby this is life now don't get mad no, no, no

Coz oh, cant you see
That no matter what happens
Life goes on and on
So baby, please smile
Coz im always around you
And ill make you see how beautiful
Life is for you and me

Take a little time baby
See the butterflies' colors
Listen to the birds that were sent
To sing for me and you
Can you feel me
This is such a wonderful place to be
Even if there is pain now
Everything would be all right
For as long as the world still turns
There will be night and day
Can you hear me
There's a rainbow always after the rain

Life's full of challenges
Not all the time we get what we want
But don't despair my dear coz I know now
You'll take each trial and you'll make it through the storm
Coz you're strong my faith in you is clear
So ill say once again this worlds wonderful and
Let us celebrate life that's so beautiful, so beautiful
Ohhhh

Take a little time baby
See the butterflies' colors
Listen to the birds that were sent
To sing for me and you
Can you feel me
This is such a wonderful place to be
Even if there is pain now
Everything would be all right
For as long as the world still turns
There will be night and day
Can you hear me
There's a rainbow always after the rain

Focus on other things

2008-07-05T17:49:00.000+08:00

Guess what? I have written 4 posts already and none of them are published, all saved to drafts.

It's all about him again so I think its not worth publishing it, Im just getting sick of everything about him. hehe sorry.

So I decided to write something that I think is worth publishing. As some may know, I am chubby and I am conscious when it comes to my weight, I sometimes tend to lose my confidence, probably one of the reasons why I don't go out lately and stopped socializing, upon my observations, 80% of the people that lives here in HK are overwhelmingly thin and health conscious. Ive done different kinds of crazy diets and none of them works and everytime I fail I lose more confidence and get depressed. And when Im depressed I do something to make myself feel good. EAT. I can say I am patient, but when it comes to these things, I lose patience and give up easily. I am nearly 5ft. 10", Yes, I am tall for a normal filipina, I consider myself one eventhough I have a bit of spanish and chinese blood running through my veins, anyhow, speaking of height, I get stressed even more when my family and friends say not put my height to waste and have a healthy diet, so I did and I started 3 months ago (should've started ages ago!) and the results are not so bad after all, Im not trying to be a pro on health talks but I just want to share some tips of what Ive been focusing on lately - My healthy diet. It's very simple, If I can do it, so can you. (Blimey, are my marketing skills convincing enough? LOL)

So here it goes:

1.) Fruits, Fruits, Fruits, Fill up on the fruits! - I am a massive snacker, I always eat loads of rubbish in between meals which is undoubtly bad for an office girl like me sitting all day infront of the pc, all those saturated fats from crisps and other junks are all going straight to my belly. Eww! I realized all that when I watched a tv show from BBC lifestyle. Fruit helps with sugar cravings! so when I crave for ice cream or other sweets I snack on prunes, Fat free Good carbs biscuits or keep an apple in my bag. Having snacks are not always bad for your diet, you just need to eat good snacks :)

2.) Ditch the alcohol! - I always enjoy drinking alcohol as I never get drunk! I have no idea why? I get hang over the morning after but I never get drunk, they said my body is immuned on high percentage of alcohol, but on thing Im sure of is its never immuned on high percentage of calories! here is the full explanation on how we can gain weight in drinking alcohol - http://www.second-opinions.co.uk/alcohol.html ALCOHOL -A BIG NO NO >.< when Im out with my friends for some drinks and I dont want them to put pressure on me having an alcoholic drink, I have one that looks similar, hehe Just a tonic water and lemon on the rocks! Looks like gin tonic and tastes a bit like one too, it's a little secret between me and the waiter/bartender :P

3.) Eat more veggies :) - Like fruits, veggies are great to fill myself up so that I'm not tempted to snack on rubbish! but not all veggies are good unfortunately, potatoes, parsnips, peas, sweet corn, and baked beans are BIG NO NO's because they are full of suggies (Sugar) that will turn into fat :)

4.) Water therapy glug glug glug - I always try my best to drink 2 liters of water a day. It flushes out my system and trust me, I feel so much better for it! it sounds like alot, I wont drink 2 liters in one go! ofcourse I divide it into glasses and throughout the day I had 2 liters before I know it.

5.) Seriously, CUT the carbs! - Spaghetti bolognese, Lasagna, White rice, Sandwiches, oh golly, Im drooling over the thought of these foods. I avoid carbs especially after 6pm, it bloats me out and hell I can't work them off. So in the evening, I try to stick to veggies with chicken or fish, or if I'm too lazy to cook, I have myself a bowl of cereals and fat free milk :)

6.) Im not strict ;p - Are you a chocolate lover? Im not, but have you heard of cheese lover? I looooove cheese! all kinds of cheese! blue cheese, cheddar, mozzarella, Brie, goats cheese name it I will eat it! as long as it's cheese hehe :P I allow myself treats every now and again. And I always stick this in my mind, a diet's not supposed to be torture after all! If I fancy ice cream, cheese or a piece of chocolate, I'll have it! it's always ok to ocasionally have something you're craving - that way, I won't feel tempted to go off the rails and binge.

7.) Most important thing to do is.... Exercise :) - Everyone knows that, even a 7 yr old kid knows that! As long as I move and sweat I consider it as an exercise! I'd dabbled with exercise and done bits and pieces of running, playing badminton, walkatons, but I'd never stuck to anything as I get lazy. I joined the gym :) and found myself new friends! Mr. Cross trainer, Mr. Treadmill, and Mr Cycling (I assume guys, lol much fun and to put more determination :P ). As an office girl, I don't have much time to do exercise on day time so I go to the gym on night time and work out 3-4 times a week to get the full benefit, I do still get lazy sometimes so I just go to sauna or steam room for relaxing and to melt a bit of fats away! If you're too embarrased to being all red-faced and sweaty in the gym, I suggest you buy a training dvd and do your exercise in your living room :) Exercise is always good you will enjoy it eventually.

So this is it. My revelation of my not-so-complicated healthy diet I hope this post didnt bore you, but it's worth reading! this goes out to guys as well. For three months, I loss weight and gained confidence and that is all that matters to me. I hope this helps and encourage people like me who lacks confidence in physical appearance. Good luck to me! Happy Dieting! :)

Never ever?

2008-07-04T01:20:00.000+08:00

Shockingly today I was so preoccupied with my work and updating things, Ive totally forgotten about him, (Gawd did he cast a spell on me?!) It's a good thing he's far, can't imagine how he'd hurt me if he's just nearby.. acck >.<

I think I am slowly going back to normal again, which I think is good!If Im completely back to the normal me again, I swear I would never ever do this same mistake. I would never ever ever ever tell someone what I really feel unless someone tells me first, I would never ever degrade myself again just to make someone happy, enough worrying about other people, it's time to make myself happy now and I mean it! ....I'm not mad :) Im just saying what I think should be said. I thought it would take me a long time to get over things, but honestly, it has just been 1 week and half and things are going differently upon expectations... I can't say Im totally over, it's just taking some time for me to slowly accept the facts. Oh gawd I can't believe Im saying this, I mean, he doesn't deserve this! it's unfair! ;P

Oh well, I guess for now I have to believe the saying "what goes around comes back around" and I always believe in "karma" not bad karma, but good karma :)

This I will promise myself, if somebody gets really hooked on me, I would never take advantage, and I will let him know right away if I like him or we're better off as friends. I will never ever make him a fool for letting him wait for nothing.

Wish me luck :)

Blog Community - MyBlogLog

2008-07-02T23:43:00.000+08:00

I have just joined a blog community... :) I think it's about time to get some readers! LOL at first, I didn't really want anyone to read my blog but I was thinking, why not? If I would want to keep it private why didn't I just write it on a diary?! I must say, this is a very good outlet... and it's therapeutic... :) it helps me get my mind off things and its exciting to know that someone is actually reading your silly rants :P

Today someone sent me a message and I'm like, "Ohmigosh! somebody just sent me a message thru MyBlogLog! woohoo!" LOL that is just so silly but it felt good! I know I'm still a rookie when it comes to blogging, so you may find my posts a bit boring but I will try to improve. :)

Ive also updated myYearBook ( http://www.myyearbook.com/ ) account and it's so cool it's similar to facebook but I don't know why I don't like updating facebook I find it complicated! So this is what's keepin me busy these days and Im enjoying it! I can't believe I abandoned the internet for a week there are just so many exiting things I can do to entertain myself, not just chat with somebody then fall inlove and be crushed! ewww thats just pathetic don't you think?

A proof of desperation. Yuck. LOL.

Till my next post :)

What the fuck have you done lately?

2008-07-01T19:16:00.000+08:00

- NOTHING. Im fucked up lately, and it SUCKS!

My memory is still fresh so I really need to post this. I am not mad and definitely not trying to offend anybody by swearing, LOL my title was the last words Wesley gibson (James McAvoy) said after assasinating Sloan (Morgan Freeman) so.. I was just answering the question :)

- THIS IS A MUST SEE MOVIE.

Anyway... I just came back home from watching this absolutely amazing movie! Oh my fucking gosh. (Sorry I can't help it) :D I realized I haven't watched a movie in the cinema for ages! last movie was Harry potter and the order of the phoenix and that was like what, a year ago?!! Gawd, I really enjoyed tonight, I totally forgot how to have fun. Watching this movie tonight is kind of a big thing for me :) I was hyper the whole time we were at the cinema (I still think I am and it's nearly 4 in the morning!) Ive got photos to prove it! haha (I still need to transfer photos from my camera to my pc, so I'll post it some other time :P)

So yeah, This movie hit my damaged brain in some way and I dont have a slightest idea how and why? Im pretty sure this is not a coincidence, this is a sign! Im meant to watch this movie to realize things! btw, I did. When they showed the trailer of this movie on tv, I said to myself out of no where "I am going to watch this" funny cause Ive totally forgotten about this movie when my sister sent me a text message asking if I wanted to come and see the movie with them. Ofcourse I said yes, I mean DOH. *Do something different for once in a while! So I did watch the movie with them and should I say this the second time, I really enjoyed it! If I was just pretending to be happy, I could say, WOW I'm good. One thing Im not good at is pretending that I'm not thinking about him, honestly, I'd make a complete idiot out of myself if I said "Oh, Ive totally forgotten about him" or.. "oh! just one click and he's out of my mind" or.. "nah, Im not thinking about him!" That is just fuck shit. Ofcourse Ive been thinking about him and that is normal! I will think about him as long as I want and I will stop if I want to. From now on, I will do anything I want and not let this stupid feelings affect or completely stop me from doing my usual things.

At first, I thought, I was waiting for him... but I wasn't really waiting for him... I was just in desperate need of attention.. I was waiting for him to end this and not just run away or ignore me. I feel like he left me hanging for a while there, If I didn't make the fookin move, If I kept my own beliefs, I would probably still be hoping and waiting for nothing. He knew I have made assumptions, If he just told me right away "Stop, dont do this, get over it move on and find somebody who you could be obsessed with" then I wouldnt upset myself too much would I?!? So now, Ive finally found the closure. Im not going to tell how and why. For now, I am not saying goodbye yet, Im not letting go yet, I wont give up yet, I will still be here, but when the time finally comes. Oh well, sorry to say, it's not my loss, it's YOURS.

So the next question is... What the fuck will you do next!?

- Haveeeeeee Fun!!!! :)

I am looking forward to for the next couple of days...

- Nicoles weekend visits (she's in Macau at the mo)

- Disneyland! :)

- Kung fu Panda!

- Akon concert :) (not yet sure)

- Clubbing!

- karaoke!

...and I hope more to come! :)

- R

Sophie

2008-06-30T15:34:00.000+08:00

... You're my angel ...

... You bring out the child in me...

... Never fail to make me smile...

... You make my life easy and worry free...

... You're my little sophie ...

Him

2008-06-27T10:49:00.000+08:00

I haven't had fun in 2 months. When I finally went out last night to have dinner and few drinks, someone called me which I do not know who? But Im definitely sure its from skype. The thing about call forwarding to my mobile is the caller appears "witheld" so it sucks that I dont know who's calling. So anyway, I'm thinking its him. I have a feeling its him. I cant hear anything from the other line but I have a feeling its really him, I just hung up cause theres no point of saying hello a hundred times. But then this kept me up all night. I feel its him but I dont want to think its him cause I dont want to upset myself. I haven't been online for a week now cause it made me more upset when I see him online, then I send him messages but ignores me completely. Im aware of this and its just taking me time to get used to like this, I mean its perfectly fine if sometimes you just dont feel like talking to someone, I do that too.

So after dinner, we had a couple of drinks... we went to this place called "spicy fingers" (a bar in Wan chai, HK) The band was about to start and everything is going very well ordering drinks, chatting, meeting new people... They started with this song. The song that reminds me of him. The song that (I think) made us both realized we were falling for each other. or.. what made ME realize Im falling for him. So, was that a sign? or just a coincidence? A phone call from someone and the song. Whatever. It's just driving me nuts. I took a video and its up to you to figure out the title of the song.

That's just great, when you want to have fun, these things come unexpectedly and just spoils what I have been trying to keep up. Its not that I don't want to talk to him, god knows how I miss talking to him, but the big question is, does he still want to talk to me?

I am not mad at him (and will never be) I am just giving him time and space and letting him do whatever he wants. I don't want him to get stressed because of me, I want to help him but because of my selfishness, I am being one of his burdens and that is totally NOT helping him.

So this is the first time Ive posted something about him (I dont need to mention a name due to some circumstances).

I want to say thanks to the people who has been listening to my never ending story about him. This is really affecting me and I understand they sometimes get annoyed with me. I remember my sister saying "Come on, stop thinking about yourself! if you really care for him, you should not be thinking about yourself! What he's going through is not a joke and that he should focus on serious matters. he's the one who needs help, NOT YOU."

She's right and Im doing this to myself because I deserve this....

So Im going to end this post now and I hope this will be the first and last upsetting post about him. I feel a bit better now as Ive gotten this all out. I will try to live a normal life and at the same time be strong to hold on to everything and wait for better things to happen. As Ive said to him, I will not lose him and he will not lose me, I am willing to wait, even if it takes forever. :)

.........~ Spero Melior.... ~ I hope for better things...

They say, What I feel is normal

2008-06-26T11:45:00.000+08:00

Its been a week and I still feel the same.. This thing (infatuation??) (Illusion??) (Love?!) (Lust?!) Im confused and its starting to annoy me!

I dont want to be a hypocrite and say the feelings that I have admitted a week ago are completely gone. Thats bull.

I am still hoping.. but at the same time... losing hope.. but somehow, there is a much lighter mood... No idea where its coming from? For the past couple of weeks all I've done was worry worry worry and now, when I stopped doing the usual things and found a diversion to my daily routine, I feel like I dont care anymore, All that matters is Im trying, and i dont care what the outcome will be. I don't really care now, I will live my life as normal and not be bothered on whats going to happen next. Is this a bad thing? I hope not. and one thing im sure of right now.. Im willing to sacrifice and hurt myself, but Im still not willing to let go. Is it worth it?

~ Dum Spiro Spero ~ ..........While I breathe, I hope...

I believe

2008-06-24T10:49:00.000+08:00

I believe everything happens for a reason...

I believe in love, in arguing, in hurting...

I believe in smiling, in crying, in fighting, in giving up...

I believe life can be so cruel but can be meaningful and beautiful...

I believe in second chances, even if you've completely screwed up.

Survey #1

2008-06-23T16:52:00.000+08:00

Ive always enjoyed answering silly surveys from the internet :) So now I will be starting to post my answered surveys on my blog! I know it doesnt make any sense, Lol.. Im just trying to do something different.. you know.. just to keep my mind off things :) so yeah. First Survey ever, More to come. :)

Silly Survey # 1 -23Jun2008-

1. Your name plus "o"?
^ Roxyo hehe LOL

2. Two feelings at the moment?
^ depressed, Sleepy

3. What are you listening to right now?
^ Dry your eyes mate - The streets.

4. A part of a song lyric that's in your mind right now?
^ I really like, what you've done to me,
I can't really explain it, Im so into you :)

5. Describe where you are right now?
^ At work. :)

6. What is your highlight for the week?
^ My period? LOL ... see my post below...

7. What are you craving to have right now?
^ Lotsa foods! Variety of sweets and junks! Lotsa lotsa lotsa :P

8. Any unforgettable childhood memory?
^ Cut classes with my classmates just to go to the forest and look for Merlin (A wizard) to give us special powers. LOL, its a long story.

9. A not-so-good childhood memory?
^

10. What are your nicknames?
^ Roxy, Rox, xanne, Roxana, Foxy, Darling

11. Your plans for tomorrow?
^ Wake up, Shower, get dressed, go to work, go to the gym, go home, then sleep. :)

12. Your two plans for today?
^ Work then Dinner with folks.

13. Are you thinking of someone right now?
^ Yes. Always.

14. Do you party?
^ No, not at the moment.

15. Do you like twins?
^ I don't mind having twins, as long as its not siamese. >.< 16. Fill in the blank "I am ..
^ A little bit ok now ;)

17. Last meal?
^ Chocolate and Tea :)

18. Say anything you like to whoever is reading this:
^ I am bored.

19. Are you feeling hungry?
^ I always feel hungry!

20. Who do you miss right now?
^you know who you are.

21. Last friend you saw online?
^ Lots to mention.

FYI: I dont go online anymore and Im planning to stay that way until I figure out things. But if you want to call me, my skype is still forwarded to my mobile phone.

22. Last friend you saw go offline?
^ The last was last week, on skype, it was Henrique (good guy he is.)

23. What do you like about night?
^ Stars :)

24. If you were in a farm, what do you want to see?
^ What is the connection? lol.

25. Last person who gave a comment to you?
^ Michelle

26. Did you like it?
^ Yeah..

28. What song did u last hear?
^ Let's wait a while - Janet Jackson

29. Where did you hear it from ?
^ From my ipod

30. Now what are you listening to?
^ Dry your eyes mate - The streets (never ending. )

31. Who haven't you seen in awhile? (give 3)
^ I havent seen most of my friends...

32. Do you miss them?
^ VERY. :(

33. Where ARE THEY!?
^ Philippines

34. Given a choice, would you sing or dance?
^ sing SING!!!.

35. What were you doing before answering this survey?
^ Talking with Nicole.

37. What is the favorite brand of shoes you have?
^ CAT

38. What do you feel right now?
^ I thought I was certain about my feelings, but as day goes by, Im getting more confused.

39. When/Where were you born?
^ Sept. 8 - Tung wah Eastern Hospital, Hong Kong

40. Do you consider yourself a jolly person?
^ Yup! :)

41. Do you have a dirty mind?
^ Who doesn't? We all have dirty minds :P

42. What would you do if you found out your ex is engaged?
^ LOL. Goodluck. :P

43. Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn't do?
^ Yes. and Im still doing it. I just dont know if it's right thing to do.

44. Have you ever really wanted something so bad and got it?
^ Yup. Tons.

45. Are you aware of what happens around you?
^ Yes and its driving me crazy.

46. When is your next road trip?
^New territories? dunno. depends on my mood

48. Do you have any friends that you've known for 10 years or more?
^ Yup. Too many to mention, but most of them lives in the philippines.

49. Do you need to know everything about someone's past?
^ No. But I wouldnt say no if someone wants to share it. Sometimes it's scary knowing someones past.

50. What do you look forward to most in the next 2 months?
^UK ;)

Worst Week

2008-06-21T16:48:00.000+08:00

1 week of confusion, sadness, emotional stress, and depression... All because of 1 reason... I am in love. All of these are part of the love process, so I have to learn and deal with it. Ive already dealt with the fun part so this time its the hurt part. Wish me luck >.<

I hope this all ends before monday and I hope something good happens to me next week or else I will go crazy. I don't want to forget things, I dont want to stop hoping, The more he pushes me away the more Im challenged,
The more I feel challenged the more I nudge myself. I know the truth will hurt, but I wish he could atleast tell me what he really feel, does he want me to stop? does he want me to wait? does he really care about what I feel?

There is no way I could take back what I said, but I dont have any regrets, The truth will always set me free.

My Freebie 5!

2008-06-19T18:03:00.000+08:00

I got this idea from my sister! its so cool hehe

my freebie 5!

This is not in particular order :)

1.) Carmine Giovinazzo
2.) Leonardo dicaprio
3.) Ioan Gruffud
4.) Rob Morrow
5.) David Boreanaz

I think they're all a bit too old for me, I dont care! weeee I like older men!

Yep, Dreams can come true :) It will, someday :)

2008-06-17T11:43:00.000+08:00

Dreams

Move a step closer you know that I want you

I can tell by your eyes that you want me too

Just a question of time I knew we'd be together

And that you'd be mine I want you here forever

Do you hear what I'm saying gotta say how I feel

I can't believe you're here but I know that you're real

I know what I want and baby it's you

I can't deny my feelings 'cause I know they are true

[CHORUS]

Dreams can come true

Look at me babe I'm with you

You know you gotta have hope

You know you gotta be strong

Dreams can come true

Look at me babe I'm with you

You know you gotta have hope

You know you gotta be strong

I've seen you sometimes on your own and in crowds

I knew I had to have you my hopes didn't let me down

Now you're by my side and I feel so good

I've nothing to hide don't feel that I ever could

Do you hear what I'm saying gotta say how I feel

I can't believe you're here but I know that you're real

I know what I want and baby it's you

Can't deny my feelings because they are true

Dreams can come true

Look at me babe I'm with you

You know you gotta have hope

You know you gotta be strong

Dreams can come true

Look at me babe I'm with you

You know you gotta have hope

You know you gotta be strong

I'm not making plans for tomorrow let's live for tonight

I know I want you baby so hold me tight

Put your arms around me you make me feel so safe

Then you whisper in my ear that you're here to stay

Dreams can come true

Look at me babe I'm with you

You know you gotta have hope

You know you gotta be strong

Anything for you

2008-06-13T06:07:00.000+08:00

~~Anything For you~~

~~First time to see a smile,~~

~~Bring out the happiness for awhile,~~

~~A smile that is so true,~~

~~Will do anything just to please you.~~

~~Endless days, Sleepless nights,~~

~~What I'd do for just one sight,~~

~~For you I will do this fight,~~

~~Whatever happens, Just hold on tight.~~

~~So much in common, So much pain,~~

~~Both holding back w/ nothing to gain,~~

~~Let's not worry,~~

~~Let's not feel sorry,~~

~~Should have mentioned this a million times,~~

~~I will be here for you,~~

~~I will wait for you,~~

~~Time will come, I will be yours, and you will be completely mine.~~

New Job, New Office, New Bestfriend! - Conrad

2008-06-11T11:50:00.000+08:00

He's Got a new name! yey :)

While I was helping our accountant unpack her things, I saw this cute tiny teddy bear waiting for me to pull him out of that dreadful box! :) So I took him out of the box and there he was smiling at me :) lol :P

It is my 2nd day in our new office, I feel like I'm in a whole different place... I feel like I have been isolated and missing out all the fun outside the showroon :( It's not that I dont like the new office, its really cool, but the thing is, its just so quiet! Guess Im just not used to being quiet cause im a very loud person! anyway, I dont know yet but its only been 2 days... Maybe Ill get used to everything around in this new office.... New Job, New Office... So that's why Ive found myself a new bestfriend who can keep me company!!! Meet Conrad :)
Here are some photos I took from my new cubicle.. :)
New office theme : Industrial Look

I love MC!!!

2008-06-05T12:21:00.000+08:00

I have been listening to Mariah Carey's latest album E=mc2, this I must say is one of the coolest. I have been a huge fan of hers since I was in my grade school days up until now. So these are my MUST-LISTEN top 5 favorite songs so far:

-Bye Bye
-I Stay In Love
-Thanks for Nothing
-Last Kiss
- I wish you well

As a few may know she just married Nick Cannon, She is so sweet she even included him on her Bye Bye Music video... Love this video! :)

Mariah Carey Lyrics

hehehehehe.... :)

Oh BTW, Mariah now has 18 No. 1s, surpassing Elvis Presley's mark!!!!! OH DEAR GOD. Keep Rockin MC! She's 2nd to beatles! Unbelievable. Amazing. Thats all I can say.

Wish it was Alex

2008-06-04T01:01:00.000+08:00

I havent been really open about my work on this blog. Once I mention this subject, I need to start from where it all started.

so here it goes:

I was working for my aunt's friend in a trading company before my "current" job hired me as an assistant homeware coordinator. Basically, Im assistant to the assistant. Lol. and that assistant just so happens to be my sister. :) its really cool to work with my sister especially when there are times that you have no idea on what you are doing you could easily ask her without any hesitations because yeah, she's my sister. :)

Unfortunately, my sister became ill (Hyperthyroidism) and had to resign after 12 years of working. so now Im offered to do her job. Which is good for me because this is a great opportunity to learn more and to actually try new things. My bosses and my sister has been very supportive and I am so glad that they are giving me their 100% trust on this new responsibilty Im about to take. Although it will take some time to cope up things, I hope this will all turn out well. Hopefully. :)

The reason why Im writing this, its because, we are hiring another staff for the office. yes. we are. I dont sound like Im very fond of it. Ofcourse I am not. DUH first things first I dont want to think about the fact that my sister is going and that they have to replace her. There is nothing we could do but to wait, then My coworker had mentioned that she knows someone who wants to work in the office. and my first question was, Is it a guy or a girl?!?! so her story starts there, its a HE by the way... hehe :)

He's Pure Filipino.... but... He's raised in Australia... so it means,.... he has this amazing accent... :D oh I love australian accents.... hehe so I personally asked for his cv through phone and personally submitted his cv to the big boss. I emphasize on the personally. :P I will admit, yes, I had a quick look on his cv :) actually I read the entire cv :), I am very impressed. First thing I thought was this will really impress my bosses. It's gonna be the first time I would be actually working with a guy, same as my age... and... again.... the never ending aussie accent. :) So he was scheduled for an interview, and finally, I met him. :) He's ok :) He's Tall :) and.. he's Cute :) He's got braces though but I dont mind. :) Didnt have the chance to introduce himself cause he was busy with my bosses.

From what I observed, they seem to be impressed. Good sign, yes :) So they gave him a tour to the showroom and also, for the gm to interview him. That part, I dont know what happened but from what I heard, the interview made him nervous and sweaty. >.<>.<

1 week has already passed and me and my coworker(the one who introduced the guy) are very eager to know if he's got the office job. So she had a chance to talk to him, and asked whether they've sent him an offer or sumfin.. and he said, well he still needs 1 month notice from his current job, and no, they haven't given him the offer yet. aww >.<

1 week later, I saw my bosses interviewing a lady, can't help but to eavesdrop :) so I heard, that she's applying for the office job. Darn. yes she is. darn. hmp!. anyway, she originally came from nepal but she's an HK resident. You probably know where this story's going.... So now, me and my coworker is so freaked out! This is totally absurd. I dont like that lady. Ofcourse I like Alex! (Oh its his name by the way) Alex! Alex! Alex! :)

... But then I discovered something.... :D

He's.... GAY~!! still that doesnt change me wanting him to be my officemate :) its gonna be so much fun! but he was cute though.. anyway.. the story stops there. its been 2 weeks and still no sign of them hiring him. Just yesterday they were interviewing a filipina. Gosh. another filipina. enough filipina. It's not that I hate them filipinas, its just that, Im so used to working with them there's no fun. I think they are going to hire her. They seem impressed. hmm. we'll see. It's not that I can choose who I want to work with, ofcourse its up to them. but then, I wish it was Alex.

Till my next post :)

Good to Bad poem

2008-05-30T22:44:00.000+08:00

I am not happy with this poem. 1st, theres an error. 2nd, I don't like the fuck part. 3rd, it doesn't make sense anymore. 4th, its so hard to edit it cause its fixed. So I hate this poem.

I don't know what to do yet. so I'll leave it there until I figure out what to do.

I am going to read a book.

BabuBabu :)
-R

Good to Bad

2008-05-30T00:04:00.001+08:00

Game Over

2008-05-26T21:19:00.000+08:00

Game Over

Shouting out loud from my heart,
You and I, the day has come that we fell apart.
For all the confusions, I am very sorry,
Saying our goodbyes, everything seems so blurry.

Not so long ago we were so happy together,
Foresee my own future, as your "partner"
But all has been just an illusion,
Tears in my eyes, unanswered questions
Things you said, left me with no option.

I didnt expect I would get this feeling,
not knowing I'd be broken hearted & shattering,
These past few months, I thought it was something
Soon I realized, it was like a game we were playing
You won, I lost, Thanks for nothing.

My Cutiesss :)

2008-05-25T01:13:00.000+08:00

Awww.. Sweeeeeet! :)

Darn!... Kick the monster's Arse! hehe

Will Devaughn

2008-05-24T00:36:00.001+08:00

Will Devaughn

My Afro-american/german/filipino, Tall, dark and handsome.. soon to be... Boyfriend.. He is SOOOO HOT! damn! grrrrr lol

As Ive mentioned earlier, we watched TFC (the filipino channel) and seen ASAP 08' (Filipino noontime show in the philippines) and this newbie caught my attention! So I just thought it would be good if I make a quick post about him as I cant keep him off my mind since I watched him do his moves on TV, Damn, seriously this guy could dance! So I wrote a lil sumfin for him.. hehe

Hottie I want your baby

Oh my god, he is so hot,
like a boiling stew in a pot,
with all the ingredients and spices
it makes my stomach jump like there are mice's

He may seem a bad boy on this pic
Like a playboy who acts like a complete dick
Trust me, He's an Angel to all the chicks

They say he's a true lover,
To the Philippines he came over
It's true! Just to be with his lover
See how sweet he is,
to travel and find where she is

So, hottie I want your baby!
come over here and find me!
One thing I could guarantee,
I'll be completely yours, truly...

Roxy (your desperate fan...) .. hehe :)

The Nipple Song - me Loves it! :)

2008-05-23T22:56:00.000+08:00

I am so laughing my ass off right now!

I love this video!!! WoohoooO! Amazinggg! I wish they keep on doing more of these videos lol.
My message to Buffalax : You rock! More More More! :)

nipple nipple aaaaaahhhh nipple nipple...! Darn. My LSS! (last song syndrome) If you want to laugh, watch this!

Trust me

2008-05-21T12:38:00.000+08:00

Trust me

From the day I started

All that I ever wanted

Is just the money in my pocket

Im so lucky for learning so much

coworkers and bosses I got close, and in touch

Some days they've been hard on me

I dont care cause I love my job and do it willingly

Now that they passed a huge responsibility,

Not sure if I could do it properly

Im worried that I might not meet their expectations

But they say, not to worry "you're doing a good job" upon observation

It's so nice to hear, like a melody in my ear

with that, It takes away all my fear

Not sure what Im going to be

Im so thankful you gave your trust on me

I'll try my very best on this new job, you'll see.

My Sunday

2008-05-19T00:14:00.000+08:00

My day started really bad, I woke up early with a very bad dream. Its really weird, I dreamed about my Uncle sending me a text message, saying "Roxy, your dad died yesterday" That's very unusual cause My uncle (mum's Brother), He never got a chance to bond with my dad even if they are both in the circle of musicians here in HK, oh god. The thought of it just makes me scared.. anyway, So I thought of calling my dad and it was a bit early (7am) but I ended up calling him at 12 midnight and it kinds of freaked him out cause I don't usually call him and he thought I called cause something bad happened or whatsoever... So I calmed him down a bit when I said I just couldnt sleep and thought about how you are, so here it goes:

Dad: uh, Im ok, what is your problem?
Dad: Are you pregnant? (laughs)
Me: Dad! (I was freaking out)
Dad: Well why did you call me this time of night! I am sure there is something wrong!
Me: Nothing's wrong dad! I just wanted to call you cause I felt like I haven't called you for ages!
Dad: so, whos the guy? (laughs)
Me: DAD! I AM NOT PREGNANT!
Dad: ok then, so why cant you sleep?
Me: Nothing, Im about to but I just wanted to call you first before I go to sleep.
Dad: ok, drink milk, so you can have a goodnight sleep.
Me: Ok dad will do.
Dad: ok, go to sleep. take care bye
Me: Bye

It was just a silly conversation, I know! But I felt good & happy to hear his voice, and I missed him. He's really funny, I mean why would he ever think Im pregnant!?! lol darn. haha :)

Going back to the morning, after the dream woke me up, I decided to go back to sleep but 5 Minutes later my friend called me, so I answered and talked to him for awhile but his line was breaking up so it went off unexpectedly. I was trying to call him back, but I lost patience and decided to go back to sleep again, so I fell asleep for an hour then woke up, checked my phone, saw My aunt's message, "We go dimsum for lunch at 12, pls join us" o ooh I love dimsum (Chinese Food) I was still groggy, but I managed to have a quick shower and prepared in 30mins. Its not that I wasn't expecting it cause she told me on saturday night that we will have lunch, what I didn't expect is that we will have chinese food. I was thinking buffet, cause thats what we normally do on Sunday lunch.

Then after lunch was the fun part, we went SHOPPING! weeeeeee! :) it just took me 10mins to choose what clothes I want to buy, cause I already knew, I just need to try it on to figure out if it fits me well. so yeah, unlimited shopping! It just made my sunday a bit ok after that dreadful dream.

So basically My sister, My Uncle & I pretty much spent the whole day bumming around with my aunts and cousins, watching The filipino channel, A bit of gossiping (well thats what they always do) lol. Eat, Eat, Eat and Eat... If you think about it, t'was a boring day.. Minus the lunch & shopping :) but it was kind of relaxing for me, just think about the 6 days of stress at work, I must say, I very much prefer doing these things. :)

Another fun part was, I didn't spend my own money at all and at the same time got extra money from my uncle! he gave me 500 bucks for winning. (he's addicted to Horse racing) That's just.... I dunno cant explain! :) So... the day went well... :) Thats all I could say.....

hmm let me make a recap, so far Ive done:
- Got 2 shades (sunglasses)
- Went shopping for new clothes

So.. my next goal for next week is... hmm to ask for my Aunt's old digicam. hehe yep yep, Im not that bad...! cause its old, its not like im going to ask for a new one.. :) so we'll see. Im excited. lol.

Till my next post.. :)

Me & you

2008-05-18T09:18:00.001+08:00

Me & you

Here I am making a poem
but this time its not about a him
its about a friend that I just knew
who Ive been talking to for quite a few

Very loud but uniquely sweet
every conversation we had, makes me stomp my feet!
she's a friend with a very big heart,
Im sure its impossible for us to part.

There is somewhat a connection between us,
One thing Im sure, we can kick ass!
coz we both dont like people, making a fuss!

Insecurities and immaturities are not in our vocabulary
coz people like us, are gifted with versatility,
Can be really childish or simply be a lady.

See thats why our friendship worked,
we are so compatible, like a spoon & fork.
No bitching, insulting, backstabbing or whatsoever,
those are the main things that keep us together.

Our dominating jokes could make people laugh and choke :)
Exchanging green jokes about the blokes,
So funny to think, what we do behind our folks :P

So in 1 month time we are going to meet
Im sure its gonna be hell of a week!
Hi Ho Hi Ho to disney we will go!
All the fancy places, and Buildings I will show
I am so excited I know, you know.

Lucky niece :)

2008-05-16T23:53:00.000+08:00

I dont really feel like posting any of my personal issues at the moment... There are just so many things happening all at once that I feel like I'm in a dream or should I say "Nightmare" that is so hard to move, and you can barely breathe properly like doing a 100m run. So, I'd rather keep it in my mind than to blurt it out on this boring blog. Besides, I'm not yet ready to talk about it, time will come, just not now. I cant be more stressed as I might end up saying stupid things :)

So anyway, I just got home from my Aunt Ritz's place. My 3 Cousins, Princess(13), Mia(14), Alexa(12) (Mia & Alexa are sisters) just arrived in Hong Kong from our hometown (Laguna) along with their mothers, Tita Cynthia & Tita Doris. I'm happy that they had the chance to visit Hong Kong again on my rich aunt's tab, from tickets, to lodging, to.. actually almost everything.... That's the good thing about my Mother's sisters, they have fancy lives but they don't forget to help us peasants, who is in need of fancy things.. lol :D Kidding aside, I am so thankful that in spite of the good living they have, they never forget to help their own families who are financially in need.

So.... hehe Yesterday I went shopping for shades, guess where? in my aunt's room, where her cabinets & closets are. Damn, its like a mini mall. lol! so I got 2 Shades, 1 BCBG/Maxazria and 1 Prada both worth a thousand HK dollars!!! Unbelievable. Seriously, there is no way I can buy those shades using my own money. I mean, I can afford, but it hurts. it really hurts especially my pocket.... lol.

Luckily, I achieved my goal for this week, I got 2 shades and I'm happy!. Next week, my goal is to ask my aunt to buy me new clothes.. hehe but hey, I don't ask her directly.. I just say.. (oh.. you might want to go shopping, I could keep you company and help you bring the heavy shopping bags..) lol, so basically you need to kiss her ass just to get what you want. :P I am so bad.. I know. So its gonna be another shopping weekend! (I wish) but this time, I don't have limitations! I could get whatever I want!! weee! so wish me luck! I hope my charms works for this one.

Tata!

For Him - Part 2

2008-05-14T20:06:00.000+08:00

Dont make my feelings fade

This is my second poem
a poem about you again
I remember the questions that lingers on your mind
Answers are very easy to find

I used to be strong now you make me weak
Im always waiting for you and cant put me to sleep
see, what you're doing to me is wrong
but I keep on holding on

Because of you I drool makin me a fool
you make me see my past, present, future
I learned so much from you like my own private tutor

scared that my feelings are fading
I cant keep on waiting
I guess il just stop hoping
because I think you're just fronting

For Him - My first poem in 21 years

2008-05-14T08:31:00.000+08:00

Fool for you

I dont know what has gotten into you
why you left me so sad and blue
The mornings I told you everything
I thought that there was something
you said to tell the truth
but all I do is hide behind my youth

you knowing me is scary
all I give you is a smiling weary
I wish I just told you everything
so we just kept on talking

the way you talk it gives me the creeps
the thought of you always gives me the jits
i guess i was just thinking about myself
and never thought of what you felt

Now that you are gone
I hate to think that we are completely done
thinking of you every hour every minute thats all I do
I bet you think Im stupid being a fool for you

Hororscope

2008-04-20T20:47:00.000+08:00

To set the record straight I didnt spell that wrong. :) my today's horoscope gave me goose bumps while reading it. I must say, its unbelievably horrifyng. Geeez that's creepy. (cause it really happened!)
So here it goes:

My Horoscope - April 20, 2008

VIRGO
A short, casual conversation with someone you don't know very well will evolve into a lengthy discussion today -- and your intellectually curious mind will love every single minute of it! No two people experience the same reality, and you are extremely interested in hearing how other people explain their take on life. You are hungry for opinions that differ from yours, so ask for them! Listen with your ears wide open, and you just might hear something that blows your mind.

Demmet I havent had a decent sleep for 2 days I've been talkin to someone (cant tell who I might get murdered LOL!). Kept thinking about things. Thinkin what people thinks about me. I worry alot and it sucks (I just realized that) geeez >.< Thanks to you ;p

:) R

For the love of work?

2008-03-15T10:17:00.000+08:00

I didnt go to work early as a matter of fact Im 2 minutes late :P but I did wake up around 7am. thats EARLY! I spent my time browsing on my Friendster account, answering surveys, checked some blogs see if there's any interesting stories I could read, cause I really cant sleep because of that stupid excel sheet Ive been working on.

But hey, I am infront of my pc and guess what? I saved my work! yey! That's a good start :) I would be really grumpy whole day if I didnt save my work last night. I am so relieved. can you tell? I bet!

I cant think of anything to post so why not advertise our newly renovated showroom? We have over 20 rooms but I just took the photo of my favorite room :)

Alexis Room - (can you see that Hanging Lamp? isnt it funky?)

I got nothing more to say I love my work so what? :)

xoxoxo

Autosave?

2008-03-14T23:34:00.000+08:00

It was a very busy week at work as the winter season just ended and everyone is preparing for the spring season. Today 8 hours is not enough for me to finish everything so I stayed up to 10pm working on some excel sheet. I wasnt alone, our Display Manager stayed up late as well cause she needed to finish hanging chandeliers in our showroom with the guys. At around 9.50pm she asked me if we could go home... I got exited and I think I forgot to save what I was doing. Oh good lord. >.<

I hate it when that happens! well who doesn't??? Now I cant sleep and I need to go to work very early tomorrow and check If I saved my work. and if not. Im back to fucking ZERO again.

This is the time I wished work is just 10mins away from home so I could go back and check if I really saved my work. hehe ok this is enough I cant understand what im watching. Oh my god did Jack Malone just kissed max's wife?? Oh shoot.You flirt!
Nitez >.<

I love danny taylor and martin fitzgerald hehe :P

Stop.Read.Drop

2008-02-02T13:56:00.008+08:00

Roxy

I am Roxy - author of this blog (Obviously). I am 23. I am ~~flip~~ :D Filipina, born in Hong Kong, studied in the Philippines. I recently moved to the US.

I live a pretty normal life but I sometimes tend to complicate it. I am stubborn, loud person, and can sometimes act bitchy. I am childish and I can easily get jealous. Unreasonable. Sometimes, I want all attention on me. (Attention deficit disorder yes I am struggling. LOL) Can be violent if needed. :) I complain a lot (that's normal, everyone does :D) I am pessimistic and paranoid. I become obsessed with a thing or a person easily and it comes to a point that I become a stalker. So beware ;P On the bright side, I'm a real sweet girl, I like to love and be loved. I have my own world (yes, ~~slightly~~ autistic hehe) I love kids and I wish to have my own. I believe I will...Someday... :)

Daily reads - Sorted Alphabetically

2008-02-02T00:50:00.001+08:00