Papers

 

29Sept2010

I have been stressing a lot just about everything ever since… I don’t know when. For me stress is like a daily basis stress and worry  about one thing to another. It’s weird but sometimes it makes me better (?)

About a week ago I sent my green card application to the US immigration services. I spent the whole week worried if they actually got it or started processing it? I did not hear anything from the USCIS until yesterday…

Apparently, the forms were not properly signed so the immigration had to send the entire package back to our house again. After all of my hard work putting every document required together… I was back to square 1. I knew something was wrong because if all was well we will hear from the immigration 2 or 3 days after receiving the application. It was a dreadful moment when I saw the rejection notices.

Anyway, I re-did the entire application and sent it off today. I checked everything over 5 times but still I’m not sure if I did it right. I know this is a normal reaction after sending the package and I also know that I am over-stressing about it. Buy hey! it doesn’t hurt to worry about things! It starts with being denied, being deported then I have to leave the country and my husband and then we would not see each other for so long then we will fall out of love then we will have a divorce then I will be miserable all my life then I will hate America then I will be lonely again.

I KNOW! that’s how far my mind goes. It’s just absolutely dreadful. I just hope everything goes well and that Me and My husband doesn’t need to be parted again. Also, it would be really nice to settle here and start our lives in a clean slate.

These are just one of the worries I actually wrote but there are million things that is on my mind right now that I am forgetting to worry about. Yes I do forget worrying about things, then if I do remember, I will worry until I forget again. I am a freak of worrying!

I know I am not making any sense right now. Don’t mind me though. This is normal, and you will see a lot of this posts in the future. I admit I am so nega about things but for me, its always better to think about the worst case scenario, that way I am prepared… But then you can never be prepared because you can’t tell what will happen in the future. OMG i have to stop.

My Husband bought me a bookmark saying “Keep calm and Carry on” as he always says… Everything will be all right and that I have to quit stressing and worrying about things. If it happens, it happens. I am thankful for having someone put up with my negativeness(?) does that word even exists in the dctionary?!. lol. Damn.

~Spero Melior ~

~ I hope for better things ~