What the fuck have you done lately?

- NOTHING. Im fucked up lately, and it SUCKS!

My memory is still fresh so I really need to post this. I am not mad and definitely not trying to offend anybody by swearing, LOL my title was the last words Wesley gibson (James McAvoy) said after assasinating Sloan (Morgan Freeman) so.. I was just answering the question :)

- THIS IS A MUST SEE MOVIE.

Anyway... I just came back home from watching this absolutely amazing movie! Oh my fucking gosh. (Sorry I can't help it) :D I realized I haven't watched a movie in the cinema for ages! last movie was Harry potter and the order of the phoenix and that was like what, a year ago?!! Gawd, I really enjoyed tonight, I totally forgot how to have fun. Watching this movie tonight is kind of a big thing for me :) I was hyper the whole time we were at the cinema (I still think I am and it's nearly 4 in the morning!) Ive got photos to prove it! haha (I still need to transfer photos from my camera to my pc, so I'll post it some other time :P)

So yeah, This movie hit my damaged brain in some way and I dont have a slightest idea how and why? Im pretty sure this is not a coincidence, this is a sign! Im meant to watch this movie to realize things! btw, I did. When they showed the trailer of this movie on tv, I said to myself out of no where "I am going to watch this" funny cause Ive totally forgotten about this movie when my sister sent me a text message asking if I wanted to come and see the movie with them. Ofcourse I said yes, I mean DOH. *Do something different for once in a while! So I did watch the movie with them and should I say this the second time, I really enjoyed it! If I was just pretending to be happy, I could say, WOW I'm good. One thing Im not good at is pretending that I'm not thinking about him, honestly, I'd make a complete idiot out of myself if I said "Oh, Ive totally forgotten about him" or.. "oh! just one click and he's out of my mind" or.. "nah, Im not thinking about him!" That is just fuck shit. Ofcourse Ive been thinking about him and that is normal! I will think about him as long as I want and I will stop if I want to. From now on, I will do anything I want and not let this stupid feelings affect or completely stop me from doing my usual things.

At first, I thought, I was waiting for him... but I wasn't really waiting for him... I was just in desperate need of attention.. I was waiting for him to end this and not just run away or ignore me. I feel like he left me hanging for a while there, If I didn't make the fookin move, If I kept my own beliefs, I would probably still be hoping and waiting for nothing. He knew I have made assumptions, If he just told me right away "Stop, dont do this, get over it move on and find somebody who you could be obsessed with" then I wouldnt upset myself too much would I?!? So now, Ive finally found the closure. Im not going to tell how and why. For now, I am not saying goodbye yet, Im not letting go yet, I wont give up yet, I will still be here, but when the time finally comes. Oh well, sorry to say, it's not my loss, it's YOURS.

So the next question is... What the fuck will you do next!?

- Haveeeeeee Fun!!!! :)

I am looking forward to for the next couple of days...

- Nicoles weekend visits (she's in Macau at the mo)

- Disneyland! :)

- Kung fu Panda!

- Akon concert :) (not yet sure)

- Clubbing!

- karaoke!

...and I hope more to come! :)

- R